Pain, Sex, Janoskians.

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I woke up to the sound of my alarm screaming in my ear. I rolled over to turn it off, taking in the time. 6:30. It shouldn't even be legal to be awake at this time. I dragged myself out of bed and took a shower and got dressed before waking up my little sister, Prim. I made her breakfast while she washed and put on her school dress. 

"Morgan, what's that noise?" Prim asked as she sat down to eat her cheerios.

"It's Mumma. She's still up. Don't worry though, we'll just stay in here until we leave."

Prim understood what I meant straight away; our Mother was still up from the night before, getting drunk, doing drugs and whatnot. Prim didn't know that though. She just knew that mum was doing something bad. Our father was nowhere to be seen, though. Prim is only 7 years old but she is very grown up for her age, just like myself. I'm just 17 years old, but I act much like an adult. You kind of have to when you have parents like ours. I've grown up having to take care of myself. I can't really remember a time when I had a parent to care for me. I'm glad mum had Prim, because she's my sister and I love her, I just don't understand why she decided to have another child when she couldn't even take care of the one she already had.

I've never had much care or affection from my parents in my life, but I'm used to it because I've grown up that way. I just want it to be different for Prim. I want her to have someone to care for her. Even if she doesn't have our parents, she has me. I will always care for her and love her, and if that's the closest to a parent that she has, then so be it. As long as she doesn't turn out as messed up as me, as long as she doesn't go out drinking on the weekends like I do while she's at her friends, or have sex with a lot of different boys just to feel love, then it isn't so bad.

I've not had an easy life. I've always been on my own. My parents have been drinking and doing drugs around me as far back as I can remember. They used to beat me and abuse me in every way they could. When mum got pregnant with Prim, they finally stopped hurting me. Hurting me physically anyway. I thought that maybe when Prim was born we could be like a normal family and my mother and father could actually act like caring parents. I couldn't have been more wrong. They may not physically abuse me any more, but they have a way with words that scars me worse than any amount of beating could. I've been caring for Prim since she was born. She is the most important thing to me and I just want her to have a good life. I have never had the innocence that children are supposed to have and I have never had a real childhood, so I want it to be different for her.

I sat infront of the mirror putting on my makeup and doing my hair as Prim ate. I love my makeup and like to try my best to make myself look good. Wearing makeup is like a mask in a way for me. It's kind of like it hides the pain. If I wear it, then everyone at school will think I'm a happy girl. They won't see what's really going on.

Prim sat with me after she finished her breakfast, watching me do my makeup.

"That's pretty," she said in her sweet childs voice as I finished applying my eye makeup.

"It's pretty, just like you!" I said tickling her sides and she let out a giggle. "C'mon, let's go brush our teeth, then we can have a fun day at school!" I said, trying to put on an enthusiastic voice for her.

We crept past the living room where our mother was and towards the bathroom to brush our teeth, then we crept past again after we had finished. Just as we were making our way towards the front door I heard some clatters and footsteps coming towards us.

"Where d'ya think you're goin', you good for nothin' skank?!" Mother snarled gripping onto my arm.

I escaped from her grip and ran hand in hand out of the door with Prim.

I put on a brave face as we walked to school and told Prim it would all be okay. She was worrying, so was I, but being the big sister I had to hide it. On the inside I was crying. I hate my parents, I hate living with them, I hate my life.

Atleast at school I can get away from them. At school I can be with my friends, and as it's a new year, that means new classes, which means new boys. New boys is exactly what I need.

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