OMG!!! Can I just say thank you guys soo much because I had 4 parts and had around 46 reads and I posted this latest chapter (5) and went up to 109 reads so thank you guys so much and I know that some people get like 1000 reads within a day but I'm still new and getting to 100 is an accomplishment in itself and I could never have gotten there without you ok so I’m probably boring the crap out of you so here we go
I feel so empty and abandoned and I hate this feeling. I feel like everything around me is all happening and it doesn’t matter if I’m here or not because regardless life will take its course almost like it doesn’t matter if I am here or not and that really annoys me. I want to feel important, wanted, cared for. I feel like I could die and around three people will take notice and actually be affected by my absence. Its not a good feeling.
I was wet, cold naked and lonely when he found me. It was embarrassing that he would have to find me here like this and I was still awake. I could hear everything that he was saying to me, I felt his warm body pressed up against mine but I couldn’t move, talk or even open my eyes. It was really frustrating, I wanted to let you know how much it mattered to me that you came back, that you looked for me.
You know that feeling when you really love someone and you try your hardest to let them know but they are completely oblivious to it and you start to lose hope. You start to believe that they are gone and completely out of reach and suddenly they turn around and come back to you. That’s what it felt like, and it was wonderful.
I was now in a room which was white and smelled like medicine; I was taken to a hospital. It was still hard to open my eyes but I was aware of everything around me thanks to my ears. I could hear theBradfordaccent talking with someone who sounded older probably the doctor or nurse, and I could hear sobbing to the right of me. Was someone crying for me? No, why would they and who would possibly care. The curiosity was killing me and I wanted to desperately know who it was but it was as if my eye lids were made of weights, I could barely open them.
“Harry, come on mate we should go, they say chances are he wont wake up for another couple of hours” it was Zayn speaking, but to Harry, my Hazza? He couldn’t possibly be here crying for me, he left me, he was mad for what I did to him he couldn’t possibly care, could he?
“No, I-I'm staying. With him”
“Haz if you stay you will have to be here for a long time lets just go and ea-“
“No Zayn. I am staying and I will wait until he wakes up, I, I can’t leave him here alone. He wouldn’t leave me alone, sides I want to be here when he wakes up”
“Ok I get it. I’ll go and tell the rest of the lads and see what’s going to happen”
Oh Harry. Was it really such a wonder why I loved you? He was so amazing to me and knew exactly that when I woke up it would be his face I wanted to see, it would be him in who I would seek comfort in. Even if we weren’t on the best of terms last time I saw you I could never be mad at you. In all honesty I was mad at myself for acting the way I did. I was mad at myself because I was somehow stupid enough to drive you away. To make you leave me but what I didn’t notice in the beginning was that I need you. It isn’t just a small desire to want to hang on to you, to hold you close, to love you with all my heart, I need you because without you I’m empty, I’m half of a whole, its almost numbing to not have you beside me. I had not even noticed that I started to cry until I felt the tears start to roll down my cheek bones.
“Lou, Lou are you, are you awake? Please Louis say something, open your eyes at least.” Harry had seen me and now I felt horrible, I probably looked horrible as well and here he was begging to look into my eyes. I couldn’t disappoint him, not now. I wanted to move my mouth and at least whisper something to him, open my eyes and let him now that I was ok. I started to flutter my eye lids open and it was blurry in the begging but then everything focused and I saw him.
“S-Some-thing” I mumbled to him.
“S-Some-thing” he mumbled to me, and that was all it took. I gasped deeply inhaling a large amount of air of relief as I threw my self at his body lying on the hospital bed.
I buried my face into his chest and let the tears cascade down my eyes. I hugged him with great force letting him know that I was here for him, that I cared about him.
“I thought I was going to lose you!” I started to scream at him. Then I was suddenly enraged with him, how dare he make me fee like this, make me feel like I couldn’t help him like I was going to lose him at any second, didn’t he think about me, how I would feel if I would of lost him? I then sat up with my bum on his lap and started slapping and punching his chest.
“DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME EVER AGAIN!!! How do you think I felt almost losing you? Louis you scared the shit out of me, I thought” I started to sob again “I thought I lost you for a second”
“I'm sorry Haz, I, I wasn’t thinking, like you said, I’m selfish” I could practically hear the bitterness in his words did he actually believe that, he isn’t selfish at all, he always puts others and the band in front of him.
“No Louis, I was just mad you aren’t selfish I promise you actually your so selfless and amazing Boobear, don’t believe that you are selfish”
“Harry, you were right all along I am selfish and all the other things you told me”
Crap this is bad if he thinks this I need to change his mind I need to let him know that I don’t think like that about him, I need to let him know how much he matters to me but how? What can I do to let him know? Then it came to me. Kiss Him. And so I did.
Boom cliff hanger lol sorry about that but it just had to come right? Anyway I’m really trying to make long chapter for you guys but it’s really hard like in Microsoft word I have 27 pages typed and in Wattpad its like 9 so yeah Frustration!!!! But I don’t want to make them too long that I lose your interest so yeah. Ok now I’m just babbling so ill stop =]