Rayleigh In High Hopes (Short Story)

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Perhaps I haven't heard my calling, perhaps I never will. Star struck like the soulless castaways I so hopelessly envy. Perhaps I am on a different road than they, seeking a different destiny. I don't believe I will find it soon. Far from womb which bore me and miles above the soiled core, I ask the same questions day after day, night after night. "What is my purpose?" or "Will I find it before it is too late?" It has become a ritual that I rarely practice when not thinking. I try to avoid organized thought; I find it to be dangerous now more than ever.

"I can't wait til I die." I commented as I readied for bed, "Maybe it will be tonight. I really hope so." My mother looked at me very emotionlessly and she folded the clothes lying about the furniture.

"Maybe, you'll never know." She whispered dryly. "I hope you get what you ask for in life."

I wasn't shocked at that she said things like this all the time. I didn't pay it any mind, I did not really want to hear her comments. She never said anything worth hearing, only garbage.

"When will you be returning to school, Raleigh?" asked Mother. "It's been two weeks and the counselor called today."

"I don't think I wish to return. I hate it there," I answered. "you know that. I think that is why you send me there. The only reason why they called for me is because of a meager paycheck to take home to their redundant meaningless lives. I don't know why I even bother, I honestly don't know."

I walked to my room as I had become bored with the idle conversation currently on trial. Next morning I was to live another day in my useless life.


The subways overcrowd with everyday people doing everyday things. Well, most of them. A woman in a nearby alleyway begs for her daily wages. A woman should never be seen doing such ungodly acts, never in public anyway. It seemed that we have loss our sense of pride as people and have now downgraded to a much simpler version of species. No, I wouldn't say sheep, but something in that category. We try to live what we see, never learning any real lessons in life.

We are the bigger man's worthless shadow, the, uh specks under his microscope. He examines us and later will have a big laugh with his cronies about it. All while sipping expensive aged wine with a wasted broad on his arm. I can imagine it all now.

I know not why I am roaming the streets in the daytime, these are the sun's hours. The old rules the day, as the young seize the night. I rarely go out in the public, but it seemed nice out, so I figured why not?

Looking around, who do I see? The reverend's wife, the old man, the hooker, and the small boy and his mum. Common people, like you and me. Not too dirty on the surface, but look closely. That quiet man over there is about to lose something.

"Get off me!" he yells.

A younger woman caring for him calms him down, barely. What was on him? Well the insane usually turns out to be the sane one in the end. It is true in some cases, but I'm not sure about his though. I suddenly felt the sun shine heavily upon my head, so I arose from the bench. There was something about the sun shining on me that made me quite angry. I don't know why. The sun is just one of those things that are best admired from a far, in my opinion.

Look around again, choose wisely. What else is out there? I see a woman on a park bench, she's alone and reading a book. Her hair of black, clad in dark attire and high heeled boots. She must have been in her late twenties or early thirties, not too old. I'm guessing she had been sitting there for as long as I've been standing here I haven't spotted here until now.

The city area isn't as crowded as usual. It's 4 o'clock on a Saturday evening, one would at least think. The faint house music creeps from the open door of the small dance club across the street called Blake. Two bouncers stood beside the door, arms folded. I always wondered what went on inside those establishments. I snuck a peak in once but was caught off guard by a large man in a black suit and shades inquiring my I.D and whether I was on "the list" or not.

Motorcycles sped past me. After this happened, a line of people formed in front of club Blake. I heard a few distorted words and I saw people coming and going. I stood there in front of a café staring at the scene. After 20 minutes I felt myself become bored and the night fell upon the city like a cloak on a snow globe. Wait, what?

I walked away slowly, only recently recognizing the chilliness of the night; stopping once every few minutes to glance at my cell phone for the time.

People began crowding the venues and the sidewalks. Laughter and conversation filled the air, and I was without company. So I figured it was time to go home. Oddly enough I turned around to see what kind of establishment I was loitering before and what I saw was an interesting site indeed. It was a crowded striptease, both men and women were talking and showering a young debauched femme with dollars. Oh she danced, she treated the pole like a well acquainted man she recently met at a bar somewhere in Vegas. Slipping, sliding, groping, and everything in between. I stood there staring at the naughty little scene, she was great. And then...

"Little boy what on Earth are you doing here?" A concerned voice called from behind me. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

I reluctantly turned around to see who this was. I looked up and saw a large man in a business suit. He barely looked down at me. He was waiting for an answer.

"Maybe I should," I remarked with very little concern. "My mother is probably worried sick for me. I guess I better be on my way."

And so I left him standing there without looking back.

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