Sometimes I just felt lost in my own head. Over thinking, that's what I always did. I always cared too much about other's opinions. I wished and dreamed that one day I would let go. And live life the way I was meant to be. I wish I knew which paths to take. Who to be friends with. What to do everyday. How to have fun. How to let loose.

If only it was that simple.

I was completely and utterly lost in my own thoughts. The party was tomorrow and I was driving myself insane.

Trust me, I really did want to enjoy myself. But if only I knew how. Karen was carefree and outgoing. She was a bit like Niall, other people's words didn't affect her. I was more like Harry. I wish I didn't care what others thought of me, but in reality, I did.

What a freeing feeling it must be to live life with no worries or regrets. Sigh.

As all of these thoughts circled around my head, Karen came over, like we planned. She came full of energy and her good curling iron. I don't know what I would do without her.

After washing our hair and changing into pjs we started telling jokes. And went on the computer.

For those few minutes, all else left my brain. I was just another girl having fun with my best friend on a Friday night.

                                                                                       ***

I had a puking feeling deep in my gut. Ugh, why must I get so nervous? I always had nauseating feelings on first days of school, and other important events. But for some reason I was a bit too nervous. As if I knew something was going to happen today. And not the good type of something. Because if it was good, why did I have this feeling in the pit of my gut, right?

I took a few seconds to calm down, plastered a smile on my face, and woke Karen up.

I wasn't sure what I would do with my face. I wasn't much of a makeup person, but I put mascara and gloss and was almost ready. Karen was a whole different story, she put everything, from eye liner, mascara, blush, gloss and all types of things. But of course she looked great, she always did.

Not that I didn't keep myself together, but I was a simple girl. I didn't believe in full makeup everyday, heck I was only seventeen.

Karen and I finished getting ready and had a lot of extra time. We sat down and talked for a while.

Trying to keep each other calm. By the time we got in Karen' car, I was feeling pretty good. And I just wanted to have a good time. This was our first time seeing the boys since the concert. Wow. Half a year without seeing them. They were busy. All of a sudden becoming the biggest boy band in the world wasn't easy. I just wished that they hadn't changed.

Of course people change, but as long as it's for the better, then go ahead. If not, I don't think I could stand it if the fame had gotten to their heads. I was almost sure that they'd be the same goofy boys.

Only one way to find out I thought as we headed to the beach house the party was being held at.

"Deep breathe. Straight back. You're okay. You were meant to be here." I kept on replaying that in my head as I heard loud party noises.

Let loose. Have fun. I could handle that.

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