b.4 - Divided Poem (I Hate Father)

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I.

I hate him

Never want to see him

Never want to hear him

Never again near me

Bye bye

II.

I can't read her mood right now

I can't figure out how she feels

About him abandoning her

She simply lies there

Not doing her work

I wonder what she's thinking

I know what thoughts I have

He abandoned her here

Left me to care for her

To pick up all the pieces

I don't understand how

He could abandon his friend

The one person he knew so long

The one person who treated him well

Leaving her to cry and mood about

She remains there, not pausing to talk

She doesn't want to bother me

But I know that she is hurting

I know that she is in pain

And I know I can't do anything

III.

He has no form of loyalty

Leaving behind his duty

Leaving behind his honor

Or is there no sense of these

That his mind is so cold

That captain's rank means nothing

He spit on the honor of the role

Made it feel like it was worth nothing

He left a wake behind him

A churning mess to clean up

IV.

I hear the fifth fukutaicho

Scream about how it's his fault

How things happen to be

All his fault, all his fault

And not that Aizen's

I can't disagree

But I also can't agree

Aizen's the ringleader

But there is this feeling

That he's a monster

He cut into Momo

He cut into my sister

He made her bleed

Despite the fact he knew

He knew he'd face ire

He tried killing me to

Cutting me to pieces

Making me scream

To make me feel rage

To make me want to kill

V.

I hate the way he's pardoned

A double spy they so claim

It doesn't erase the pain

It doesn't change the fact

He abandoned and ran

I want to break his bones

To make him feel pain

To make him scream

To beg for mercy

To ask for forgiveness

But he isn't here

He's gone and gone

Running again they say

Or dead they say

Not here no more

VI.

I hate the way he looks

His silver hair flowing

His eyes glowing

His smile ever so wide

His thin bony fingers

He's a monster seeming

His actions match it

His eyes never staring

Yet always seeing

Always on my mind

I share his looks

I share the silvery hair

The odd colored eyes

The smile that is ugly

The bony thin body

I am a monster true

I hate him so much

I hate myself so much

I can't stand it

Bile upon my tounge

VII.

I hate the fact he ran away

I hate the fact he didn't stay

He broke my heart in pieces

He didn't bother to explain

Why he did what he did

The love I have?

It's a non-existent loathing

A biting feeling of anger

A thing I want to ignore

I want him to go away

Yet he's in my mind

Always there haunting

My thoughts shivering

Never going away

The truth right there

VIII.

I hate him but love him

I'm scared to in fact see him

I'm scared to hear his voice

Never again near me

Bye bye, papa

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