A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps unto the pool table and grabs the cue ball, forces it down his throat and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No. What did that stupid shit do this time?, says the patron.
"Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole", says the bartender.
"Yeah, well I hope it kills the him because he's been driving me nuts" says the patron. The guy finishes his drink and leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back with the
monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the car again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds some peanuts on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his ass, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"What now?, responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a peanut up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it" says the bartender. "Well, what do you expect?" replied the patron.
"Ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything