Breaking up is hard to do

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Sunday afternoon I went over to Kirsten's to sulk. Chris hadn't called me or come back over, but I hadn't called him either. I didn't feel as if I had to. He was the one that was wrong. Practically accusing me of cheating when he could have very well been doing the very same thing with some picture-perfect Victoria's Secret model in New York.

"You don't really think that he did anything with that model do you?" Kirsten handed me a cup of coffee before sitting down on the couch opposite of me.

"No." I admitted. "But I've never given him any reason to doubt me and he's constantly accusing me. I thought it'd be the other way around to be honest."

"Is she really a Victoria's Secret model?" Kirsten wanted to know.

"Well she walked in the show this year. I don't know if she's an actual angel." I rolled my eyes.

"Just call him. You're being stupid."

I shook my head. "He should call me. He freaked out over facebook pictures instead of talking to me."

"Well it did look suspicious." Kirsten pointed out.

"What?! Scott was there. I wouldn't do anything in front of him, IF I were going to cheat."

Kirsten laughed, "I know. Call him." She said again.

"I'll think about it."

I left Kirsten's to go home around 3:00 that afternoon. I pulled into my driveway to find Chris on my doorstop. My heart skipped a beat as I climbed out of the car. Kirsten was right, I was being stupid about it. But maybe that realization came from him coming to me instead of me going to him.

"Hi." I walked up the steps.

"Hey." He shoved his hands in his pockets. We were quiet for a minute and then I slid past him to unlock the door.

"Do you want to come in?"

He shook his head, "This won't take long."

My heart began to pound and I turned to face him, "What won't take long?"

"Bree, when we started seeing each other I thought I was ready to finally do the relationship thing again. But right now....I'm just too busy. I need to be focused. I don't want to worry about what is going on here in Boston when I'm working."

"You're breaking up with me?" The hot tears began to sting my eyes.

"I just think I'm not in the right place. I mean I'm home now but after Christmas I probably won't be back until who knows when. That's not how a relationship should be."

"You're just now figuring this out?"

"No....well yeah I guess. I wanted to kill Zach for dancing with you. I should have been there. But work will always prevent me from being there for things. I don't want to be the jealous boyfriend."

"You don't have to be jealous. Nothing happened."

"I believe you. But the thoughts that ran through my mind while I was on the plane and then when I saw the pictures it was as if for a split second my worst nightmare had come true. I don't want to be distracted by those thoughts while I'm working. I think it's best we just end it now."

"And I get no say in this?" I couldn't stop the tear from sliding down my cheek.

He looked away. "Don't cry."

"I don't want to break up." I whispered.

"I know. But it's best." He swallowed. "I should go."

He turned, got in his car and drove away leaving me on my porch where I stood until my teeth started to chatter from the cold. When I got inside only then did I realize my fingers, toes and cheeks were numb and I couldn't feel the tears that had been pouring from my eyes.

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