RD 41

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Phase 41

Primiel didn't attend the three day interment of his Mom and that's the grief-stricken days part of the funeral. Elexius attended on the last day with his Dad, I witnessed everything. I witnessed their sorrow and mournful eyes, even without having any emotions. It can be felt, it was like the torment beneath their souls.

Tahimik at malamig si Elexius, ganoon din ang kanyang ama na nakatingin lamang sa malaking litrato ni Eldora Villareal. Iyon ang pangyayari sa huling araw, nanatili silang mag-aama at iba pang dumalo para makiramay roon samantalang umuwi naman ako kasabay ni Saint nang maghapon. Ang buong akala ko ay binabantayan ni Primo ang kanyang ama sa ospital habang hindi pa nagigising pero ngayong narito na ang ama at mga kapatid, wala pa rin siyang paramdam sa burol ng ina.

Sa tatlong araw na iyon, nanatili siyang tahimik at walang salita kahit na bumibisita siya sa akin sa rest house nila Saint pagtapos ng araw. Wala siyang balak makipag-usap at parang bumibisita lang para alamin ang lagay ko, iyon lang. Pero ang pakiramdam? Hindi ko siya maramdaman, purong pait at kadiliman lang na halos ikadurog ng puso ko sa ilang gabi. I tried to talk to him on the third day and asked if he'll come on the entombment, but he just closed his eyes and slept on my lap without a word.

He's treating me with coldness that feels twilight in any time even daylight, he suddenly turned buckram as stone and he's the known steel without Achilles heel now.

"Primiel, huling araw na ng—"

"Can you cut it, Loraes?" may iritasyon niyang sambit habang nakapikit pa rin.

Napahinto ang kamay ko sa marahang paghaplos sa buhok niya at tiningnan siya roon. Kumunot ang noo ko at kumibot ang labi, my heart crumpled. I know he's hurting till now, hindi mawawala iyon ngayon o bukas pero hindi ba talaga niya pupuntahan ang Mama niya kahit sa huling pagkakataon?

"P-Pero kahit doon na lang, sana mapuntahan mo siya."

Nagmulat siya ng mga matang madilim, he sat up and looked at me gloomily. Nagulat ako roon at parang manginginig na sa takot, bigla kong nakita ang daplis ng nangingislap niyang mga mata dahil sa pagbabadya ng luha roon.

"I don't care, I don't want to. She left me—" hininto niya ang pagsasalita at yumuko. "Please, let me have my peace beside you because you're the only one I have now. Mama left me and I can't fucking accept it, I don't wanna see her fucking going in this fucking ground without hearing her voice for the last time! Ayoko, hindi ko matanggap at hindi ko alam kung matatanggap ko..."

My heart crumpled tremendously, suminghap ako sa labis na emosyon. Kahit walang maipakitang emosyon si Primiel habang sinasabi iyon ay ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagkadurog niya sa lahat at sobrang sakit noon sa akin.

"Pero kailangan mong tanggapin. Paano ka magiging maayos kung hindi mo matatanggap iyon? I'm sure your Mom wants you to be all right even without her now!"

Umigting ang panga niya at nanatili ang malamig na tingin sa akin, kinabahan ako at nanaig ang takot na tinatabunan ng pait. Kinunot ko ang noo at nilapitan siya, I gently hold his fisted hand and caressed it. Tears started unleashing down my cheeks.

"Please, heal yourself, Primo. Alam kong mahirap tanggapin ang nangyari, pero sa tingin mo ba magiging payapa ang Mama mo kung nakikita ka niyang ganyan? You need to find peace in your heart and mind, I don't know how to help you but I'm just here..." humikbi ako.

Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Have you felt this, Loraes? The mother you are protecting for too long suddenly left you without a fucking clue? Hindi ko pa nga natutupad ang mga pangarap niya para sa akin! She wanted me to become a pilot like my brothers, I didn't do that but I will still reach it for her to see me in a pilot's attire like she wanted, fuck it! She wanted me to marry first, she wanted to see my children, she wanted to see me settle down with a family and that's all my dream, too. I wanted her to live until the day of her own time! Not in this fucking situation where I still need her warm comfort and everything while reaching our dreams! Not in this unacceptable way I caused! Tell me how can I feel better easily knowing that I caused her death!?"

Villareal #5: Rayless Daybreak Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon