I ate my breakfast in my room to avoid an awkward meal with Joe. I made him his share of breakfast, though I assumed he probably wouldn't eat it. The guy didn't want anything to do with me why would he eat my shit?
To my surprise, Joe came into my room and thanked me for the food. I waited for some TV host to burst out of the closet and yell, "YOU'VE BEEN TRICKED!! YOU THINK JOE LIKES YOU AGAIN HA PYSCH!" But nobody did.
Joe left the room looking bright eyed and bushy tailed. Something was up. But I suddenly remembered the time Joe had jumped out of my closet to surprise me. I was so scared at the time but now it's a warming memory. I remembered the reason why Joe pranked me back. I had tricked him into thinking I didn't want to be roommates anymore. I remember the sad hurt look on his face. I wanted to hug and comfort him. I couldn't help but fall harder in love. When Joe did all the pranks back on me, I saw how much work he put into them. It was then that I realized I hurt Joe a lot more than he showed. If he wasn't hurt he wouldn't have put hours into the pranks.
Urghhhh. Great. Here I am again, reminding myself of yet another reason why I love Joe.
Joe came back in and asked if his friend could stay in our apartment. I asked if he was dating the guy, Grant, and Joe answered laughing saying he wasn't gay. Was he mocking me? Surely he knew I was gay from when I had confessed.
Joe then spat out a bunch of kind words. I could tell he meant what he was saying though and I couldn't help but be happy. He clearly stretched out the word friend, but I was happy with it even though it stung a little. I was happy to just have Joe in my life. I was content with friendship. I think.
My eyes zoned out into a blur as I began daydreaming. I dreamt of Joe whispering kind words into my ear over and over. I felt my eyes flutter closed against my will as I fell back asleep.
I woke up to the sound of Joe's laughter. I snuck into the kitchen, where I heard Joe on the phone.
"I know! Caspar's disgusting. I mean, not only is he gay, but he had the nerve to confess to me! As if I'd ever like him. What a fool."
There was a pause before he continued talking, "Hes so annoying, I'm definately moving out as soon as possible."
My head was spinning, and my heart sank to my gut, I felt sick. This can't be happening.
"I know Zoe! And I can't believe he went to you for help on what to do with me! He really is the worlds biggest idiot."
No fucking way. He was talking to Zoe. I had just lost the two people who meant the most to me. No.
"Joe." I said stepping into sight where Joe could see me. I wasn't angry. Not yet. Just sad. Very sad.
"Joe, answer me."
He said nothing.
"JOE!" I screamed as loud as I could.
"WHAT?" My eyes shot open to the sound of Joe's real voice. I blinked a few times for my eyes to focus. Joe stood at my doorway, his eyes frantic and full of concern.
"What's wrong Caspar? You screamed my name in a terrifying tone."
My face turned red, "S-sorry Joe. It's nothing." I couldn't tell him I had just had a dream about him. That'd be much to awkward. Plus I really didn't want to explain the dream to him. It was something I'd rather forget.
Joe shot me a look, "Well if you need anything you know where to find me." He said, walking out confused.
I was still shaken by the nightmare. I knew it wasn't the real Joe that had said those things, but I still cried. Because it was true that the real Joe HAD rejected me. And he probably really did think those things. He was just too nice to say it out loud.
I checked the time. It was already 8pm. I went out to the kitchen, realizing how hungry I was. The sticky note I had written Joe's name on for breakfast was flipped to the other side, with my name now written on it beside a plate with noodles on it. I smiled and mentally thanked Joe as I dug in.
All my bad thoughts about the dream went away as I mentally and automatically remembered the many things about Joe Sugg I fell in love with. His facial expressions fell towards the top of my list.
"I hope they were okay." I heard Joe say. I jumped a little surprised at his voice. It took a little while for me to realize he meant the noodles.
"Of course! They were great thanks!" I replied.
Joe rewarded my thanks with a huge smile and my heart melted.
"Awhhh Joeeeee you're just so adorable when you smile." I said and walked over and hugged him. I couldn't help but be completely myself around him. It was part of my personality.
I spent the rest of that night on twitter surfing the the Jaspar tag. I only wished that the photoshopped pictures of us were reality. Hey, a boy can dream.
I woke up to the sound of voices in the kitchen. I wondered how long whoever was in there had been talking. I was deep sleeper.
I walked groggily into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. As soon as I saw who stood there though, my eyes widened. I was fully awake.
"No fucking way."
I saw Joe look back and forth, from me to the guy.
My eyes were only directed at the guy standing a foot apart from Joe.
"Do you... Know each other?" Joe asked, in a nervous tone. He sounded like a scared kid who was forced to admit to their mom that they had done something wrong.
"So we meet again, Caspar Lee." I hated him. I hated how he addressed me by my full name. I hated the way his lips curved into a smile after he finished the "ee" of my last name.
"I suppose so, Garold." I said, taking a step back, before racing back to my room slamming the door behind me and broke down into sobs.
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He Loves Me... Not? || Jaspar Fanfic (Caspar lee x Joe Sugg)Fanfiction
"Friends can cuddle, right?" I asked, inching closer to Joe. "Yeah." Joe said, opening one eye adorably to look at me. "They can kiss too?" I whispered, his scent alone sending chills up my spine.