Chapter 64 - blue boat

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A week later.


I'm currently at the tattoo salon with the twins right now.

It's night time. Everything is calm. Ethan is setting the cameras for the video they are about to film for their YouTube channel, while Grayson is on his phone, probably sending memes to our group chat.
It's been a while since the twins filmed. And since I really wanted to get a tattoo, they found a cool video idea to do at the tattoo parlor.

I look at the boys and everything seems to be in slow motion.

I'm cold.

Ethan's oversized hoodie I stole isn't warming me enough.
Well nothing really is anymore.

"Hey, Mao, so are you're ready ?" The tattoo artist asked me, I think for the third time.

I brutally snapped out of my thoughts and turned my attention to him.

For the past twenty minutes I have been sat next to him, watching him draw my tattoo, sometimes answering his questions, sometimes letting him mesure my forearm to see exactly how to position the stencil.

He has been extremely patient with me.

I look at the drawings on my arm and smiled. It's beautiful, he did an amazing job.

I can't wait to see it engraved in my skin. I can't wait to show the boys and Emma.
And I also can't wait to show my dad.

James and Grayson think I'm going to tattoo Ethan's name. And the funnier thing is that they are not even joking, they genuinely think that it's something I actually would do.

I bet Ethan wouldn't even mind...


"Let's do this." I finally told the tattoo artist as he was ready to tattoo my pale skin.

"You're sure you don't want me to hold your hand ?" Ethan asked from the other side of the salon.
"Yes Ethan. I want you to see it once it's finished, not before." I told him.

He was sat in the egg chair and looked impatient and frustrated.
Grayson looked at him laughing and then at me, he rolled his eyes with a smile, mocking his brother.

"But why ?" Ethan asked dramatically.
"Because I don't even want to see it myself, not until it's finished. I want it to be a surprise."
"You're so weird..." He said laughing.

It was good seeing him smile and laugh. That's something he has rarely done this past few weeks.

I saw him genuinely smile for te first time this morning and it warmed my heart.

Oh, he deserves all the happiness in the world.He deserves to smile everyday.

He is so beautiful when he smiles, he shines.

« As diamonds in the sky » James would add.


Ethan definitely seemed more in pain than I was. His eyes never left me and he was shaking his leg as well as biting his nails, nervous.

"Calm down, it doesn't even hurt that bad." I told him.
"Can't help it." He mumbled.
"You're not even the one getting a tattoo." I told him.
"I know, I just hate seeing you in pain."

I smiled at him.

"I can handle pain better than you, you know."
"I know, but still. I want to hold your hand. I know how it feels to get a tattoo so that's even worse."
"You want me to hold your hand when you get yours done ?" I teased him.
"Please." He replied with a big smile.

I shook my head.

And we kept play arguing for at least forty minutes, which helped me get my mind off the pain caused by the needles stabbing my skin.

Ethan can distract me from any pain. I don't feel as bad as I usually do when I'm with him.


"And... done !" The tattoo artist finally said after what seemed fourteen years, cutting off mine and Ethan's childish conversations.

"Can I see ?" Ethan screamed-asked immediately, getting up from the egg-chair as fast as he could.

I laughed at his actions and looked down at my arm before answering, needing to see it first.

And it was perfect.

Absolutely perfect.

I felt my eyes getting watery.

"Mao." Grayson said, clearly seeing the tears forming in my eyes.
"Yeah you guys can see." I said, knowing Ethan and Grayson were getting way too impatient by now.

They run to me and immediately looked at my left arm.

There was tattooed, in a very beautiful blue ink, a sailboat.


"What's the signification ?" Grayson asked, mesmerized by the small tattoo.

I keep looking at the sailboat, it was just beautiful. It was exactly what I wanted.

"Whatever you want, Gray." I said.

He seemed confused by my answer at first but didn't questioned it. I think he understood.
It was personal, it was something between me and myself. But it was also so simple that anyone seeing it could give it its own signification. It could means nothing and everything at the same time. And that's the beauty of it all.

That's when I realized that Ethan still hasn't said anything. I looked up at him and he was staring at my arm.

"Do you hate it ?" I asked laughing.

He said nothing and took my arm with his hands in order to bring it closer to him and see my tattoo closely.

His eyes seemed to analyze every millimeters of my tattooed skin, every points and lines, every small details, every almost invisible imperfections. He seemed to analyze it all.

"No." He whispered after a few seconds of total silence.

"Actually, I love it. A lot."


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