Saving the Savage (Bam Margera Fanfiction)

Take This To Your Grave.

~Bam's POV~

"This fucking sucks!" I shouted, Ryan glaring at me and Rikki snorting awake.

"No tha's no Mine...." She mumbled, brushing the empty bottles of pop off her lap and looking at me. "what's with the yellin'?" She asked, blue eyes heavy.

"Fucking house got broken into! There's shit missing and other stuff just straight up ruined!" I shouted, holding up my cellphone, a picture of my room, the mattress flipped and cursewords carved into the headboard, I changed the picture to the recording studio for Radio Bam and Rikki's Radio Takeover, not only was the soundboard covered in red paint, but Rikki's half of the room was charred from what would have had to be a fire. I changed the image again to Ry's room, the mattress to his bed cut nearly  in half.

"What the hell? That's not a robbery, that's a fucking hate crime!" Ryan shouted, staring at the picture of his room then slamming his back into his seat.

"This had better be a prank, if not I'm killing someone." Rikki stated, taking my wine and drinking it. "I'll be sober when my shit isn't ruined."

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As it turned out, it was a prank. and also as it turned out, Rikki attempted to murder Jess.

"You got us Jess, but how?"

"See, to get you back for tying me to a tree two years ago I started plotting. When I heard you were doing another movie, I got a camera crew to come out here with me and take pictures of stuff that looked like your stuff and screwed it all up. I didn't want you to cancel filming in Phoenix, so I waited 'til you were on the plane." He explained to me as Rikki started clapping slowly.

"I've never been more proud to call you my big brother." I said, sniffing sarcastically and hugging him before grabbing his underpants and pulling them off his body.

"Ow! Bam!" I laughed and ran away, Jess close behind as Rikki and Ryan unloaded our cars off the mover.

"Careful guys, We have to shoot tomorrow!" Rikki shouted from the driver's seat of her car, distracting me long enough for Jess to get me in the dirt.

"Ow shit!" I shouted, Jess pinning me and wrestling his underpants out of my hands.

"Dude!" He yelped as I wrapped my leg around his and yanked him to the ground, taking back his underwear. "Bam, if you don't give those to me now I'll.... I'll tell Mum-Mum that you got Rikki pregnant out of wedlock."

"That's not true though!" I protested, getting ready to spit on his face the two of us fighting laughter back.

"You'd be castrated long before that truth was uncovered!" He said and we lost it, rolling in the dirt.

"GUYS! RIKKI'S MAKING CHOCOLATE COOKIES!" Ryan shouted from the house, stuffing cookie dough in his mouth.

"Truce. I gotta get a cookie." I said, helping Jess to his feet and handing him his underpants.

"What's so amazing about those cookies? I mean, they're just cookies man." I made a shocked expression and slapped him across the head.

"That's Blasphemy. Those cookies are like eating goddamn happiness." and with that, I walked inside, the house already full of chattering and the smell of cookies.

"GET BACK YOU RAVENOUS VULTURES! Dunn gets the first cookie, he helped me cook." Ryan smirked at the others and took his cookie, running off to the corner to eat it.

"But we want one too!" Tay yelled, the others roaring in agreement Rikki brandishing a spoon like a deadly weapon.

"Johnny, Dave, Steve-O." She said, handing them cookies, Johnny knowing how good they were already shoved the entire thing in his mouth and held his hands out for another, Steve and Dave shrugging, taking a bite, and then stuffing the whole thing in their mouths. "Preston, Chris, Jason, Tay." The others took their cookies and went upstairs to watch some Tv.