My dearest Friend,
You once told me you hated goodbyes, and I told you travelling would be great without saying goodbyes. No goodbyes, no tears. So I’m kinda happy you’re not here. You’ll cry when you’ll be back, but at least, you wouldn’t have cried goodbye.
I have to tell you that at the beginning of the summer, I wanted not to get close to you, not to get attached a lot so that leaving wouldn’t be painful, but I tried without being able to do it, and now goodbye is killing me more than every one that passed. Every summer, we say goodbye, every year we cry, this year there will be no goodbye, but yet there will be tears.
They say: the one that loves you will love you when you’re wearing PJs, when you’re wearing jeans and a top and when you’ll be wearing a Cinderella dress. He (here she :P) will love you when you are having the best times of your life, and when you’ll be in your worst days. He will love you when you are angry, sad or happy. He will be there in your happy and sad moments. He will think of you, miss you and wish you were here in his sad and happy moments.
You will have the time of your life with him, and make memories that will last forever. He will be there, in your heart, and you will be in his.
And you are these, my dear friend. You stood there when I had a broken heart, and laughed with me about boys that were in love with me. We watched the days pass together, side by side, whether they were happy or sad. You never left my side when I was sick, and I never left yours when you were sick either.
We watched each other grow, had problems with the world, with our families, hell even with each other, but we were always be together. Even when we fought, it wouldn’t be for long because we had something to tell to the other one.
Long night conversations, watching some drunken stupid guys from the balcony, rating boys on the pool or swimming in the sea. Singing along, staying all the day in swimming suits… So many memories that wouldn’t even fit in a book, so many words, laughs, smiles tears and cries that are now engraved in our hearts. All these memories that will last forever…
Right now, I’m on the plane. It feels weird to write this, specially here, when I miss you so much already, when I have so much to say, yet I don’t know what to say.
Looking out of the window, I see the sea and some islands. I wish you were here to watch them with me, giving names to the islands, and making up some romantic imaginary love stories that will never happen. The guy behind me didn’t stop kicking me, and I wish you were here to try everything to make me not tell him to stop, though it’s gonna happen soon if he continues like that. The guy besides him is kinda hot. He has nice eyes and a great smile (LOL).
I’m listening to someone like you, and remembering you, missing you even more, and wishing you were here again. I’m thinking of playing “what makes you beautiful”, but I would like to dance then, and it’s really too small over here so I could dance like you did in my room.
Now, we are flying over some big desert.
Wow, do you know what I’m thinking about? The guy besides the one behind me looks a lot like one of the guys from One Direction.
I’m back home… I had to close the laptop because we were landing. It felt weird waking up in my bed again this morning. When I heard my dad speaking on the phone, I thought he was talking with my aunt, and sight thinking they would come to wake me up to go to the dance classes, and thinking it was still 8 am, but when I finally opened my eyes, disappointment invaded me, tears filled my eyes, and memories flashed back into my mind.
I was kinda surprised when I realized it was already 12, thinking that for the whole summer, it was all I’ve wished for but never had.
It’s ironic how I’m looking for every single thing to tell you, just because I can’t put an end to this letter. I’ve been writing it for three days, and I’m still not being able to put an end to it, because I can’t manage to say goodbye again. It’s breaking my heart and bringing back the tears in my heart, so I’m not gonna do it right now. Maybe later, but not now… I can’t. I just don’t have the strength to do it.
It’s hard, every time I think about it. Every time I think about how we were planning on going to see “Step up revolution” and “Part of me 3D” together, it just hurts. It hurts to think that because of some stupid selfish people, our summer had to end sooner. It feels unfair to think about everything that’s lost because of them.
I’m reading two books right now, one on Wattpad, and one normal book. There’s the book I bought at “Antoine”, and that’s really great. Its name is “Lock and key” by Sarah Dessen, and it’s absolutely amazing. You HAVE to read it.
While on Wattpad I’m reading loads of books for which I’m waiting some updates, the one I’ve been reading for a few days now is named “One Million Balloons”, and It is great, by a girl named Avery.
Writing this, I’m changing the songs on my iPod, and I’m hating every second of it. It takes way too much time and patience, which I have not.
OK so now, I’m starting to say anything and everything, but I really don’t feel like saying goodbye… it’s killing me inside.
I will maybe write a second letter soon… I don’t, I just don’t feel like saying goodbye…
You know, I’m not gonna say goodbye. I’m just gonna say take care and all my love, and I miss you so much, but no goodbyes….
A crying Sophie </3