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I don't know in which category I'm fit. Hence, I don't even know if I'm really fit into this world.

Have you ever held in pain to the point where it seemed like you didn't care? You could've sworn you were crying, but when you went to wipe the tears away there was nothing.

Every second, I just wish I could die. Since I already feel like this daily.

I'm so lost I don't know what to feel. When in fact I do feel pain, I can't believe that's real. So here I am, trying to survive this cruel world.

I just got back from the hospital yesterday. They said something about my high blood pressure and the scream they heard before. I didn't hear much. I'm too lazy and sad to hear anything.

When it's time for me to go, Vivian was reluctant to let me as she was not sure if she was doing the right thing. She keeps asking me if there was anything bothered me. Anything that could cause me to scream like the night before.

I tried my best to convince her, telling her that I'm fine. She somehow, not surprisingly knew I lied. I wish I could tell her about Jason. It's just... I don't know how.

I don't know how to tell her that Jason broke my heart. I don't know how to tell her that he keeps calling me for almost 24/7. And the most hurtful part, I don't know how to tell her that he cheated on me.

Yes, I somehow emotionally cheated on him by loving someone else while we're still in relationship but not physically.

His numerous calls and texts were the ones make me bothered. I had to block his number in order to stop him from doing so. At least it gives me some peace and space to think.

Before leaving, Vivian gave me a set of new pills. It was different from the old ones. Reconsider I'm getting worse in this depression, she ordered me to take those pills on time. That is if I don't want to end up in the hospital and see her face again.

I had no choice but to accept it. I just hope these new pills will help me sleep.

As soon as I arrived home, it was already night time. Vivian was very insisted to send me by her car, in case I went coo-coo on my way back home. I rolled my eyes at her thoughts but agreed anyway since I am getting worse. Not gonna deny that fact.

Mom was waiting impatiently in the living room when I walk in. She quickly ran towards me and hugged me. She also told me how much she missed me.

She was worried when she first realised I'm still not home from school. She tried to call Jason and Layla but end up nothing. She couldn't reach them both. Then, she called my number and end up getting the same result. She was about to go to the police station when she suddenly got a text from me, saying that I'm gonna stay over at Vivian's to finish my school project.

Thinking about Vivian being her niece, she felt that she has nothing to worry about. So she agreed.

Her action makes my lips twisted into a huge smile. At least there's still a person who loves me even though my boyfriend ditches me.

What surprised her was my sudden physical change. My face was as pale as a ghost, my throat is still sore because of crying and screaming every night and my hands were full of ugly red lines all over the place. I look like a zombie from the walking dead movie, minus the blood and ripping clothes.

Anyhow, I told her I had a fever and fell off a tree from getting an apple.

Nonsense. I know.

But that's the only excuse I could think of to explain my pale face and ugly hands. She didn't ask much for my relief and ask me to take a rest in my room.

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