jin (eating disorder)

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I curled up in a ball , placed my hands on my ears to prevent the voices in my head, the comments I read earlier after posting my and jin's pic hit many hate comments
" you are so fat"
" jin is such a big idol why did he have to date such a fat pig "
" you should lose weight "
" she's a burden on our oppa"
" Look at her fatty thigh's"
" worthless "
I stood against the mirror looking at my fat body as tears escaped my eyes.
They are right I m fat and ugly , jin deserves much better.
Since then I started dieting , I used to cut on my thighs so that jin cannot see them , I used to throw up every time he would force me to eat with him.
Days passed by but I still think that I m a fatty .
Today jin decided to make dinner for me , I was waiting in my room reading all the hate I got from people , it completely broke me I stood up and grabbed a sharp piece from my drawer making thick lines , as blood dripped down my thighs I felt calmed , I heard jin shouting my name from downstairs.
" jagiya dinner is ready " he said in an excited tone.
" coming baby"I replied as I rushed to the bathroom to clean up
Jin's POV
Since few days I had been observing y/n that she has lost quiet a lot of weight , dark circles under her eyes clearly tell that something is bothering her , so I decided to talk with her , I offered her to make dinner but she was taking too long to come .
As I left the kitchen I saw her forcing her steps towards the dining table.
" jagiya why are you stumbling is something wrong with your leg?" I asked worriedly.
"No jin I m fine " she replied
We sat but y/n kept on staring at her plate .
" baby please eat" I said holding her hand.
Your POV
I stumbled while coming down because of the cuts I just made , when jin asked I just lied to him.
I kept on battling with my stomach and nmy mind whether to eat or not.
Jin asked me to start ,I hesitated but for his happiness I decided to eat , while I was eating pain was stinging and I tried to not to spill my tears in front of him.
As soon as I finished eating , I kissed his cheek and ran to our room , rushed in the toilet just to throw up everything.
Just then jin entered and tapped my back while I threw every bit I just ate. He looked upset , after I finished he cleaned up ,and picked me up ,just as he laid me down on the bed, i felt something wet on my thighs , jin noticed it too, my eyes widened as I saw blood exposing from my trousers .
Jin got really worried and asked me
" wth happened y/n why are you bleeding ?" He then asked me to show him , I was hesitant but later gave up because I knew I was screwed up .
Just as I exposed my thighs he came under shock as tears welled up in his eyes. He went to the cupboard and brought first aid kit . He than sat down beside me , I kept my head down avoided eye contact with him while he cleaned the wounds .

He then sighed and said " now tell me why are you doing this and why did you just threw up , please don't say that you have eating disorder? "
I just nodded my head while tears fell down my face . he quickly embraced me in a warm hug and told me that everything is gonna be alright.
" jin why do people hate me? Am I not good enough ? Just to make up to their expectations I starve , I have been starving myself quiet a few days now , I even got into depression in which I started cutting myself , I don't want to do this jin but fans don't like me they always call me ugly and fat" I said between my sobs. " you should just leave me I m not good enough for you" I said while standing up to leave him just to feel dizzy and lost my balance while jin caught me in time.

" don't you ever think about leaving me . you are the most beautiful girl I can have , and you are not fat I just adore the way you are. Please don't ever think yourself as worthless or not good enough because you the best for me " " and you need to stop cutting and starving "" from now on I m gonna make sure that you eat and won't harm yourself " he said kissing my forehead.
He then brought me a light meal to eat and made sure I didn't try to threw it up.
We then cuddled to sleep.


Few days later
He asked his fans to equally love His girlfriend as much as they love him if they are the true army . he told them what I had gone through and many started supporting me . I felt really happy as army started accepting me

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