My roommate punches Charlie a few days later.
You might be asking yourself "What the fuck Cathy? First your telling us about your new boyfriend and now your talking about him getting punched? I don't get your shit. Keep the story straight!"
Fuck you too. As I was saying.
Charlie and I were in my room when the roommate comes home. We get into this disagreement that I can't recall the details of. All I know is that she threatened to punch Charlie in the stomach to prove her point.
Now, I have taken down girls for less but we were adults now. We were service members. There are ways that you are supposed to conduct yourself. It had not occurred to me for one second that she would actually hit him. Until she did.
She punched Charlie in the stomach to 'prove' something to me. If it weren't for the fact that I could get into trouble I would have beaten her the way I beat those girls in middle school. She would have learned why my reputation was the way it was. As it stood, that type of behavior was not allowed. I was going to have to go full verbal mean girl on her ass.
Having a roommate that was in love with your boyfriend is challenging especially when she wants to ingratiate herself in your life completely so that she had more reason to be around him. She would take my clothes, sit in my bed, eat my food, hang on me when I came back home. The girl was insane. At first, I thought she had a thing for me. Quickly I dismissed that thought because it was ridiculous.
"I told you I would do it!" She said as he was curled up on the floor.
"You are a crazy bitch and let me tell you something, I may not be able to give you the ass whooping that you deserve but YOU are dead to me. Do you hear me you crazy lunatic?"
"I...I...Cathy please don't be angry with me. I told you I would do it,"
"And I told you that you are dead to me. If you even glance at me or a Charlie I'm going to forget myself but you will never forget. Don't test me on this. I will destroy you,"
She looks at me with both terror and sadness.
"But you're my best friend," she said with tears in her eyes.
"If that were true you wouldn't have punched my man,"
"I'm alright," Charlie chimes in. "She just caught me off guard," he said as he lifted himself off the ground.
"I'm sorry," she whispered "I told you... I told you I would..."
I cut her off. "Never again looney tunes. Don't even look in my direction or I may forget myself. Consider yourself warned," I grabbed Charlie's hand and walked out of the room.
"You were harsh," he said.
"She deserved it...and more. Are you alright?" I asked him looking into his eyes.
"Yeah...I just, I think she likes you more than you think."
"She likes you, dumbass,"
"Dumbass? I think you are the dumbass if you can't see what's happening here. This from the same person who thought I was dating Katie. You can be clueless sometimes." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes.
Clueless. Ha! Get real. I know she wants him. Nothing else makes sense. I pushed it from my mind and life carried on.
Time past, her and I were no longer roommates and yet I still could not decide if it was me or him but there was something there just under the surface of her behavior.
There were times when she seemed to have a thing for me and there were times when she seemed to have a thing for him. No matter how mean I was to her, she simply would not go away. Trust me, I was pretty damn mean. I simply refused to accept what Charlie said. There was no way.
One evening, as I was heading to my room, And she followed me. This crazy bitch stalked me like a nut job.
I walked into my room and had attempted to slam the door in her face after she chased me when I ignored her calls.
What did she do? She put her foot in the door to prevent it from closing. She did all of that so that her last words to me could be "I can't help but get the feeling that you are angry with me."
Floored...I was completely floored. Did she just prevent me from slamming the door in her face so she could tell me that she gets the feeling I am angry with her? Of course, I am angry with her.
"I'm not sure if you get this so I am going to explain it to you nice and slow. I.Don't.Like.You. I have NEVER liked you. You are the bane of my existence. Living with you was a living.nightmare. I find you repulsive. Knowing that you touched my clothes made me want to burn everything that I owned. Knowing that you would drape your arm across my shoulder made me wish I could trade in my shoulders for new ones. Listening to you talk, drained my will to live. Yes, I thought several times about jumping out of our window to get away from you. I leave and move out and you follow me here. You follow me even though I am clearly ignoring you. Do you think I suddenly forgot my own name?"
"No, I don't think that I just..."
"You don't think period and that is the problem. Did you really think that you could punch Charlie in the stomach and everything would be fine between us?"
"I wasn't thinking..."
"Clearly. Clearly, you weren't thinking. Do you ever think? Do you ever ask yourself how your behavior is going to impact other people? Does it ever occur to you to be a decent human being? Why are you here?"
"I...I..." her head hung low. "I only wanted to be your friend. I thought you liked me."
Damn. I tried to stop myself from being mean but once I got into venom mode it was hard to stop. I saw myself breaking her. I saw her spirit breaking right before my very eyes but I couldn't stop myself from destroying her completely.
"I.Never.Liked.You. Go away and never show your face to me again. I won't be kind next time I see you." I spat.
She lifted her head, her green eyes glimmering, tears were forming but she was trying to keep them at bay. I had broken her but she was trying to be strong in front of me. For the first time, ever, I respected her.
"I'll never bother you again." was all that she said as she turned around and walked away quickly. I don't know if her tears flowed from her eyes as she turned to look away from me. That evening, I didn't concern myself with her at all. I closed my door and went about my business completely forgetting about our confrontation.
Years later, I would learn that she continued to struggle to form relationships with people and I couldn't help but wonder if I might not have been able to help her.
We can't save everyone especially if we can't even save ourselves. That's the truth but even with that knowledge, I still remember her eyes holding back tears and I wonder if I might have found a way to be kinder. No matter now. I can only hope one day someone kinder than me enters her life and loves her unconditionally.
Charlie and I spent every day together and most days just the two of us alone. When he was with my group there was nothing they could do that would rob me of my happiness.
Charlie and I started playing cards together and we got good and reading each other. We were so good that we became undefeated. I was now spending more time playing cards and winning than drinking and partying. Wasn't this what old people did?
The tides were changing...was I ready?
The tides are changing. Isn't that the way it goes? Thanks for reading.
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When You Realize You've Become a Mean Girl...and What Comes Next (In Editing)Non-Fiction
It isn't every day that you find yourself waking up and realizing "Hey, I'm a mean girl." I could make sure people like you didn't make their way into our circle and I was very good at it. You wanted to sit with us? No thank you. You wanted to talk...