Of Jeongguk and Namjoon
The studio session seems to go on forever. Jeongguk hits every note with perfection; but for some reason, he feels like his music is missing something.
He turns to find Yoongi deep in thought.
"Guk, this is as close to technical perfection as it gets. Your pitch and tone are mesmerizing. But-" He frowns and slowly closes his eyes.
Yoongi hums in his raspy deep voice. He sings with a voice that's been eroded by countless nights of drowning his sorrow in whiskeys as intense as his sound. As intense as his pain. As intense as his love.
Take my hand now. You are the cause of my euphoria.
As he hums, he slowly extends his hand. Jeongguk swallows and pulls in his tears. He doesn't know if he's hallucinating or if Yoongi's shadow element is acting out the scene in his heart. But he sees Yoongi's pale veiny hand being gripped by its slim counterpart. He can almost see the shadowy silhouette of one Jung Hoseok.
Close the door now. When I'm with you, I'm in Utopia.
Yoongi stops singing. He smiles wistfully.
"I found out what your music was lacking." He pauses as Jeongguk tries to collect himself. "You need to channel your emotions. Think about someone or something you love. Try again."
And he does. Jeongguk thinks of Jin. His gorgeous face. His gorgeous personality. The home in his eyes, lips, soul. He thinks of all these things.
The studio session ends with the biggest high in months.
When Jeongguk listens to his recording, he smiles. There's so much love and happiness in his song for Jin.
He looks at Yoongi and remembers his song.
The same song. The same lyrics.
But there was only heartbreak and pain.
He still dreams about him.
His golden skin. His heart shaped smile. His soft moans. His heart shaped smile. His sparkly eyes. His heart shaped smile. His beautiful soul.
His heart shaped smile.
He'd always been attracted to that smile. He'd always loved to see how one second he could make Hoseok smile like the Cheshire cat; and then turn him into a writhing, moaning mess the very next.
He also missed Hoseok's gentle smile, the one that's barely a curve of his lips. The subdued smile that's always overflowing with love and loyalty. The one that shows he cares the world of the person he bestows it upon. That smile he only ever gives Yoongi.
But Namjoon will always receive his own version of Hoseok's smile. His smile was the dimpled one. The sweet smile with the dimples poking out. Even now, that smile was purely reserved for him.
"Namjoon, I'll never find a friend like you as long as I live. You understand me so well."
He still remembers the days Hoseok would run into his arms whenever he felt lonely. He used to do the same.
"Hobi, we'll still be friends after all of this, won't we? This won't define us. We won't let this complicate our friendship, will we?"
"Don't worry, Joonie. This is just to blow out steam. You're too precious a friend to lose."
But while Hoseok was lonely because he could never be with Yoongi, Namjoon was always lonely for Hoseok.
When he finally became aware of his feelings for the other, he stopped. He knew it was a fight he'd lose in the end.
So he started dating Jimin. He loves Jimin, but he'll never be in love with him. But that's OK because he'll never get Hoseok. What's the point when Hoseok is forever pining over Yoongi?
And that's why he hates Taehyung.
Because Taehyung is doing what he's always wanted to do. He's bulldozing the walls around Hoseok's heart. He's jamming himself in there with Yoongi.
Namjoon sighs as Jimin and Hoseok occupy the seats opposite him. The cafe is crowded but, like always, they've managed to get their usual seats. The three of them restlessly wait for Taehyung. Jimin is meeting him for the very first time today. The dance instructor has always been a big fan of the actor and when Namjoon accidentally let it slip that Hoseok was dating him, he nearly turned the world upside down in the process of getting to meet him.
Jimin leaves to use the bathroom. Namjoon sips his latte as he carefully appreciates Hoseok's features. The same features he used to (still does) worship whenever they used to come together and 'release stress' in their college days. Hoseok smiles.
"It's been so long since we last talked, Joon. I missed talking to my bromie." He teases.
Namjoon smiles and partakes in careless banter and gossip as he basks in the glow of the dimpled smile that will always be his. Jimin returns, and the three talk and laugh for a good half hour.
And then Hoseok jerks upright. His eyes sparkle as he waves Taehyung over to their table.
That's when Namjoon notices. His heart aches as he acknowledges that Taehyung, in the short period of time he's known Hoseok, has managed to earn a smile of his own too.
Hoseok's smile for Taehyung is wide and innocent and it shines with all the light of Hoseok's element.
YOU ARE READING
I want to hold you inside my Blue DreamParanormal
Min Yoongi has only had one constant in his entire life: Jung Hoseok. It's safe to say he loves Jung Hoseok, always has and probably always will. But he learns at an early age that he and Hoseok should never be together. He has a shadow element and...