46) 'Giant Displays Of Several Types Of Manly Affection May Be A Good Story...

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46) 'Giant Displays Of Several Types Of Manly Affection May Be A Good Story For A Drunken Night Decades In The Future, But Not Necessarily The Present' And Other Conclusions That, Again, Should've Been Obvious Had The Squad Possessed Any Semblance Of Social Intelligence


The next morning, there was an assembly. There were very angry teachers, very scared students, and a very gay, very giant rainbow dick outlined across the football field. Benjamin would've sworn it'd wash off, but he figured it was made of oil or petroleum. It didn't matter; the deed was done, and they succeeded.

The teachers weren't even angry. They were pissed.

Benjamin bit back a grin all throughout the threats at the auditorium. In fact, the whole squad beamed. No one would ever suspect their true nature. No one.

Of course, when it came down to find the 'true culprit', the normies stayed silent. Heston kept hissing and all the teacher said, "Quiet, it's not funny," and he hissed, but quietly. Martin and Messiah giggled uncontrollably and were told the school's integrity was at stake, which only heightened this. It was amazing how no one suspected, but... yeah. No one would. No one should. For all they knew, the squad were no more than your everyday passive, meek capitalist fodder.

If only they knew.

Sadly, this wasn't part of the plan. The moment the assembly ended, as the classes were herded into what would undoubtedly become another mini-threat by the individual teachers, Benjamin and Thijmen headed over to the principal's office.This, of course, prompted several looks, but nobody dared eavesdrop. Thijmen knocked on the door. The principal said, "Come in!" like she hadn't seen them approach (she had been walking ahead of them during most of the journey).

Upon walking inside, Thijmen said, "Good morning. I did it."

"You did what?"

"It."

"The... multicolored male genitalia?"

"Yes."

The principal turned to Benjamin and asked, "Why are you here?"

"Moral support," Benjamin peeped. He had been practicing the lines for quite a while now in hopes it'd sound as evil as possible, but it didn't work. In reality, Thijmen was probably the one here for moral support. Moral support for Benjamin.

"Yes, he is my supportive boyfriend after all," Thijmen said, nodding.

Benjamin nodded, too. Very supportive.

"Anyway, the genitalia."

The principal's left eyebrow disappeared in her hairline and her arms slowly folded themselves across her chest. "Yes, the genitalia. You say you... did it."

Thijmen nodded.

"Care to elaborate?"

A casual shrug. "Just thought it'd look nice."

She sighed and reached for the desk phone, punching in the numbers at the speed of a slug while looking at Thijmen like he'd disappointed her more than any student she'd ever had in this room. Thijmen, on the other hand, looked like he was biting the inside of his cheek in an attempt not to smile. Twenty seconds of silence passed until the principal murmured into the receiver, "Would you mind coming over to my office, Petunia? Thanks."

When the phone was back in its holder she told the two boys to take a seat, which they did, and then the door opened to reveal the counselor. Petunia.

"Mr. de Bruin here says he is responsible for the painted genitalia on the field outside."

Petunia the counselor glanced at Thijmen.

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