I look at him. Whats stopping me from loving him. My heart starts to beat faster. Whats stopping me? Why can't i just love him. A face flashes across my memory. Not Max not even a boy. A female face flashes across my memory.
"Jake." I whisper. "I know whats holding me back."
"What is it?" Jake asks looking worried and excited at the same time.
I shake my head. "I'll tell you later."
"Maggie tell me what is it?"
My mind flashes through images and i try to push them away.
My eyes start to tear up. "I think we should go." I whisper.
Jake nods his head. "Alright come back to the table i'll pay and then we'll go."
I nod my head. Jake Brings me back to the table. He pays for dinner leaves a tip on the table and takes my hand as we leave.
"I'm sorry i ruined are date i whisper."
"It's ok Maggie this is more important." He unlocks the car door for me and i get in.
He runs around to the other side of the car and gets in also.
"Tell me Maggie what is it?"
He leans over to me not even bothering to start the car.
I look out the window. "I saw you Jake."
"Saw me what?" He says confused.
"We were 15 You and Jenna were both sleeping over i walked into my room to grab something and you and Jenna were... were..."
Jake breathe catches. "Maggie i didn't know you saw that i can explain."
"Jake how can you explain you fucking my best friend on my bed."
"Maggie i went into your room that day looking for you. I found Jenna and she was crying because Andrew had just left on a date with some girl I went over and tried to comfort her and she kissed me and before i knew it we were having sex we both agreed after it was a huge mistake. Maggie please i'm sorry. It wasn't planed. It never happened again just that once i'm sorry."
"Jake we had been getting along for a while don't you remember? Andrew hadn't been home it was just me and you. you had double dog dared me to climb a tree and i had fallen. I broke my leg because of it. You carried me inside and taken care of me until my parents got home. You even went to the hospital with me. You helped me with anything i needed until my cast came off. I had relied on you i had trusted you. I'd thought i had fallen in love with you. Stupid me right? I promised myself i'd never trust you again after that."
"Maggie I didn't know I'm so sorry please forgive me."
I shake my head. "I don't know if i can. You have no idea what it's like for a fifteen year old girl to find the guy that shes in love with fucking her best friend in her own bed."
"Maggie i had gone in there that day to tell you i liked you."
"Well it doesn't matter you ended up fucking Jenna instead."
"Mags..." Jake takes my hand and i let him making my hand go limp. He presses it to his cheek.
"I'll never hurt you again." I start to cry. "Maggie i promise."
"You weren't the first one to use me to get to Jenna Jake. Other guys did it too ever since i was thirteen Jenna's always loved Andrew and they always hoped that by dating me they could make her jealous. I figured you were just the same using me to get to Jenna."