I would have to wrestle with my mommy issues another day.
Today was a rough day.
I'd go out and do some Karaoke and have some fun dancing. Maybe a hook-up might be alright. It was a Marine, a friend of Barry's but only in the fact that they were both Marine's and Marine's were loyal. He was not a part of the group.
I was wasted and don't even remember his name, or his face, or the moment outside of flashes of our intimacy. That evening wasn't supposed to happen but both of us decided to let it go. I wasn't keen on dating a Marine and he wasn't keen on getting on Barry's bad side. The weekend arrived and I wanted to go catch a movie. I didn't particularly feel like going with The Clique.
I wanted to have fun and our group had become strained since the breakup and the Orgy. I went to the gazebo and there he was, the handsome stranger with a coat that was too large for his frame. His green eyes (turns out they were hazel but change color based on his mood) glinted in the sun as he looked at me. I dismissed it, this feeling that was there just under the surface.
"Anyone want to go with me to the movies today?" I said to the group sitting at the gazebo.
One by one, I heard responses, it seemed no one wanted to go. I found it odd and was admittedly perplexed. That is until he chimed in. "I'll go," he said.
Our eyes met and I watched that stunningly beautiful face staring back at me. Did he just say he would go with me? He doesn't even know me. Had he not heard about my reputation? He must be new. Insecurity touched the surface and was quickly diminished.
"Are you sure?" I asked with curiosity in my tone.
"Sure. What time did you want to go?"
"Well...how about 6?"
"Sounds good. I'll meet you here," he said.
I smiled. He was sweet. As I walked away I thought about who else might like a watch a movie. The new guy left me feeling motivated. Yes, there are still people that want to spend time with The Bitch of The Clique. With this renewed motivation I enlisted another 10 or so people.
It was quite the group that met up at the gazebo at 6. All of us there dressed and ready to go. I was smoking a cigarette and feeling pretty pleased with myself. I may not be going out with my group but I did alright. This group was pretty impressive.
The new guy was there, and he was dressed up sharp. He was wearing these nice dress slacks, a button down top, and his dress shoes. He was dressed for a date or a night on the town. Not the movies. When I noticed him my breath hitched.
"Hey, new guy. You are dressed up. Are you going somewhere after the movies?" I asked. My hand ran across his chest. I don't know why I did that. I needed to learn some impulse control.
"It's Charles, you can call me Charlie. No, I just thought I would dress up to go out," he said almost fumbling over his words a little. I didn't fully believe him but I had no reason to doubt so I dismissed it.
"Well Charlie, I am glad you could make it. Thank you for your willingness to come with me." I said.
I wanted him to know how much I had appreciated what he said and did for me. It was sweet. His buddy Randy, was desperate to get into our group. He had tried to date every single girl in the group and now I would be no different since I was the only one not spoken for.
Randy came over to me and draped his arm across my shoulder. Poor thing, he didn't realize how much I hated when men did that. He didn't know that it would cause me to flinch and almost punch him in his stupid face. I pulled myself out from under his arm.
"Don't," I said. "I hate that."
He was taken aback but quickly apologized and kept his arm to himself for a time. The group began our descent down the hill. By the time we reached the bottom Randy had his arm draped across my shoulder again and I was going to forcibly remove it but my eyes caught sight of Jeremy.
He was staring at me, hard. He stood at the bottom of the hill with one of his friends leaning against a lamp post. Randy noticed the heavy stare, "That guys staring at you. Do you know him?"
"He's no one," I said loud enough for Jeremy to hear as we walked passed.
Randy smiled at me as he pulled me closer.
"I think he's jealous,"
"And nothing...that's cool with me. Want to make him more jealous?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"No need, I'm good." I said simply.
Thankfully he dropped it.
Jeremy's eyes followed me until I couldn't see him anymore. I could only feel them piercing into the back of my head willing me to turn to face him. I allowed Randy to keep his arm on my shoulder since I knew this was making Jeremy jealous.
It wouldn't be long now. Jeremy was going to come crawling back to me just as I knew he would. I would give it two more weeks tops.
I sat in between Charlie and Randy once we arrived at the theater and we enjoyed the movie. It was strange to feel so comfortable with someone. To sit in a comfortable silence and to embrace an inner peace that I hadn't known I could experience.
Was it Charlie or Randy that made me feel so relaxed? I scoured my mind for the answer and the answer was clear. It was Charlie.
YOU ARE READING
When You Realize You've Become a Mean Girl...and What Comes Next (In Editing)Non-Fiction
It isn't every day that you find yourself waking up and realizing "Hey, I'm a mean girl." I could make sure people like you didn't make their way into our circle and I was very good at it. You wanted to sit with us? No thank you. You wanted to talk...