Chapter One: Fat?

Start from the beginning

I walked down the short hall to my front door. I took the elevator down to the ground level, walked out of the building and into my car. I drove to a drug store. I walked to the feminine products section, passed the tampons, and picked up what I needed.

I walked to the cash register and paid for it. She raised a skeptical eyebrow, but didn’t talk to me. She shook her head as I walked away.

Once I got home, I took out the stick from the box. I followed the instructions and waited for 10 minutes. The pregnancy test beeped. My heart fluttered.

My next action could possibly change my life. I took a hesitant step forward and grabbed the test.



“Are you sure?” Annabelle’s voice came through the phone.




“I told you that you weren’t fat.”

“Thanks, Anna.”

“No prob. And who’s the father?”

“Umm… Jasper, obviously. He's the only guy I've ever dated after I got my period.”

“I know that, but guys aren't the only ones with urges, you know. Oh, he’ll make a great dad. He’s so sweet. He really loves you, you know.”

“That’s good. Thanks, Anna. Bye.”

“Bye.” I hung up the phone. I dialed Jasper’s number.


“Jasper, hi. It’s me.”

“Hey, baby. What’s up?”

“I have bad news,” I said, after cringing at the word: “baby.”

“Are you okay?”

“I think so.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I’m pregnant,” I said, after a pause.

He was silent for a long time. “I’m coming over there.” He said finally, “I love you.”

“Love you, too,” I answered. He hung up the phone.

About 10 minutes later, I heard a buzz. I ran to my speaker and hit the button.

“Hannah? It’s Jasper.”

“Come on up,” I answered. I unlocked the door after buzzing him through. He knocked on my door, and I opened it hesitantly. All I saw was Jasper with roses, and then his lips were on mine. I was so surprised that I didn’t react at first, and then he kicked the door closed behind him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed my body up against his. We stood there in my front hall, just kissing, until finally, he broke away, and said, “I’m sorry.” He passed me the roses, kissing me once again on my lips.

“What are you sorry for?” I asked after a moment.

“You’re pregnant,” he said, giving me a funny look. I blinked twice. As soon as I had seen his face, I forgot why I had asked him to come over. “So, what do you want to do about this?” he asked me, taking my hand and pulling me over to the couch. I curled myself against his side.

“I don’t know.”

We talked for hours on end, abortion, marriage, school, apartment, money, abortion, marriage… I point blank refused to get an abortion, because I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to our child.

We continued talking until we finally settled on our answer. We would marry, we would live in my apartment, he would go to school, and I would take an online course, he would find a job after he was done school, and I would start a daycare at our apartment. We would struggle through the first years on my loan from the school and government, and my daycare job. We hoped we could work this out.

After a moment, I realised that I was going to get married and leapt into Jasper’s arms.

“Sorry I’m fat,” I said. He rolled his eyes and carried me to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed and laid me down.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, “I’ll be right back.”

He walked out of the room, picking up his phone from my dresser where he had left it. He muttered some things, and then he walked back to my room

“I’m staying over here tonight. We’ll tell my parents tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” I was suddenly overwhelmed by tiredness. I rested my head on the pillow and fell fast asleep.

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