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"Shit. I hate myself," I breathed out as I kept reading. I couldn't stop.

September 7

So Estrela showed me Nathan's picture. I pretended like he didn't affect me, but of course he did. He is the most attractive guy I have ever seen. I think some part of e wants to get to know him, maybe even date him. But would he really want me, the loner of the school? Could he handle me?

People usually tell me that I'm the most dramatic, lonely, depressed person they have ever met, maybe that is true. I sometimes feel like I have two personalities. One is the happy one, that's is just pretending. And the other is the sad, depressing side of me.

I highly doubt that Nathan would want me. He seems like the guy who's done and seen everything. He probably had the highest grades in school and probably played sports and had plenty of friends. I don't even have a tiny bit of chance with him. I'm probably not even his type.

But maybe I should write him, maybe then he will like me. A letter maybe? Yeah, just no, Angela. I'm talking nonsense. Right, Britney?

I thought that writing it down would maybe help me get over him. Why do I like him so much? I've never liked anyone, so why him?

It's probably because of his cute smile, that ruffled blonde hair. That he's a cop. Has good sense of humor and personality, well according to Estrela.

Crushing on someone isn't easy, especially if you know that you don't have chance with them.

I always wondered what it would feel like to crush on someone. But at least now I know.

I wish you could give me some advice on what to do because I have no clue.

I slammed the diary shut before storming downstairs without even thinking twice.

Only to run into Estrela and Kenneth.

"Nate, what's got you so angry? Did you find out something?" Kenneth asked.

"Yeah, you and Estrela left out many things that I should know!"

Estrela frowned. "Okay. What did we leave out then?"

"Like, you didn't tell me about Britney, the girl Angela is writing to in her diary. And remember when you told Angela about Kenneth's brother, the guy she should date. Is that why you didn't want me to read that stupid diary?"

She froze, eyes widening. "Oh no. Nathan, I didn't know that she wrote it all down. But I guess you should be happy that she didn't like you."

I glared at her. "She did, but just didn't want to tell you."

Estrela attempted to push past me, but I grabbed a hold of her arm before she could. She scoffed. "That is not my problem, but it's also not a surprise that she didn't want to tell me."

"That's why she asked me about you and wanted to know all those things," Kenneth mumbled.

I ignored him and focused my attention on Estrela. "Listen, Estrela, you asked me to find your sister and when I said yes then you thought it would be a good idea to lie to me and hide things."

"I didn't lie. And so what if Angela liked you? Why do you care so much?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "How would you feel like if you read someone's diary and you find out that the person likes you and is writing about you?"

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