Is This A Fairytale (A MGG Fanfiction)

Chapter 35: Picking Up The Pieces

It was about 11am, I was in the office painting, I've had a lot of free time being home with Kaylie the past few weeks, I've been painting and drawing, recreating moments from our life, starting the day we met when I hear a knock at the door. I open the door, to see a woman, holding a large bag, her badge reads Dr. Julianna Matherson.

"Doctor, thank you for coming," I say.

"It's my pleasure, cases like these are my specialty," she says, as I lead her to the kitchen table. She asks me for specific on Kaylie's "case", and asks me various questions before heading up to see Kaylie. I go over the timeline of events since Kaylie and I met; the day we met, how we fell in love, the engagement, her losing her family, the wedding, the black SUV, working on Criminal Minds, her job at the hospital, the pregnancy, the abduction, losing the bay, finding out she can't have children and how she's been since she's been home. I tell the doctor that she's been distant, she doesn't eat, she doesn't smile, she barely talks, rarely wants to see visitors, how she hardly lets me touch her anymore, she pulls away from hugs, doesn't let me rub soothing circles into her bag, doesn't hold my hand, we haven't kissed in weeks, we haven't had sex since shortly before we found out she pregnant the first time, and that was months ago, some nights I sleep in the guest room to give Kaylie her space. I tell the doctor how worried I am, Kaylie doesn't even cry anymore she's been through a lot, but this isn't like her, she was always filled with so much joy and happiness, now it's like she's completely shut down.

"Kaylie, sweetie, it's time to wake up," I say as I sit on the edge of the bed, gently shaking Kaylie's shoulder. She turns over and looks at me.

"I think I'm going to sleep a little longer" she mumbles. 

"Kaylie, there's someone here to see you," I say, she sits up and looks towards the bedroom door. 

"This is Dr. Matherson, she's just here to talk," I say. 

"Hello, Kaylie, would it be okay if I came in? As your husband said, I'm just here to talk to you." Dr. Matherson states. 

"Sure, just let me freshen up and change." She says as she stands up and walks towards the bathroom.

"I'll be downstairs if you need anything," I say as I give Kaylie a quick hug and kiss on the forehead. She doesn't pull away, but she stood rigidly and didn't return the hug. I sigh, looking at the doctor before leaving the room, closing the door behind me. I head back to the office and wait. After about an hour I hear footsteps on the stairs. I meet the doctor in the hallway.

"How is she?" I ask.

"I'm not going to lie, there's a lot going on in her head, she has a lot to sort through, just be patient with her. I'll be meeting with her 3 times a week." Dr. Matherosn states. "For now, I've sent a script to the pharmacy for fluoxetine, if you make sure to pick it up and have Kaylie take 1 pill every morning and before bed. 

"Fluoxetine?" I ask.

"It's an anti-depressant, commonly used in women suffering from postpartum depression." the doctor replies. 

"Postpartum depression. She's depressed because we lost the baby?"

"Her miscarriage and difficult pregnancy are a major cause of her current behavior and feelings. As I've said before, she's been through a lot, it's going to take some time to sort through it, but I feel this is a good start. Losing the baby, and finding out she can no longer have children took a toll on her mental state, if I can help her work through that, we can unravel the rest later." Dr. Matherson states reassuringly. "I will return on Thursday"

"Thank you, Doctor." I say, showing the doctor out. 

I turn to go back to the office when I see Kaylie at the top of the stairs. She looks at me, opens her mouth as if she's going to speak, but then turns and goes back into the bedroom. 

I hurry up the stairs after her. 

"Kaylie, is everything alright? Do you need something?" I ask as I enter the room. I see Kaylie standing at the window. I walk over and place my hand on her shoulder, she doesn't move away, she just stands there. I turn towards her and see tears streaming down her face. 

"Kaylie, what's wrong, how did your talk with Dr. Matherson go? Do you not want to see her anymore, I can cancel your next appointment." I ramble on.

"I'm broken," she whispers. 

"You are not broken, you just need time to heal," I say trying to reassure her. I just want to wrap her up in my arms, tell her it's all going to be okay, but I can't, I don't want to push her away. 

"I want to keep seeing the doctor," she says before walking away from the window, sitting on the edge of the bed, I take walk towards her but stop a few steps away. 

"Sit?" she asks. I sit next to her, leaving space between us. 

"I'm sorry," she says "I'm sorry for pushing you away, I just..I don't know how to...I. I don't feel like myself right now. It's not you. I'm sorry." 

"It's okay, I understand" I lie, I don't understand, I wish I did, but I don't. How can a person cut herself off from the one that loves her more than anything, I just don't understand, "It's not your fault, I'm always here, no matter what." I say, but it's getting harder to mean it, I want to be there for her, no matter what, but how can I be there for someone who doesn't seem to want you anymore. 

We sit in silence before Kaylie crawls into bed. I turn and look at her, I want so badly to be able to take her pain away. 

The next day I pick up her prescription, she begins taking it that night, she sees Dr. Matherson that Friday and 3 times a week every week after that. 

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Two months have gone by, and Kaylie seems to be improving, she gets out of bed at a normal time, she sees our friends when they stop by the house and even went to the set once to visit. She talks about going back to work soon, the writers did an amazing job at writing her character out of the show until she's ready to come back. She smiles a little, and her appetite is getting better, she doesn't look like a ghost anymore. We've gotten closer the past few weeks, she holds my hand when we got out, she'll sit next to me and rest her head on my chest, I haven't had to sleep in the guestroom in weeks, she doesn't pull away when I kiss her forehead. She's even given me a few pecks on the cheek, and once on the lips. It's no grand make-out session, but it's progress, I'm getting my wife back.