Oh it took me by surprise when all the hunger left your eyes
And you never told me why, only that it's best if we try just to forget
But I'm not finished yet
To: Slut Dresser <3 ^.^ Sent: 6:09 PM
I'm coming over tonight, I don't give a fuck if you're busy. We need to talk.
From: Slut Dresser <3 ^.^ Received: 6:23 PM
I knocked on his door without hesitation, the anger and frustration kind of coming out as I did so. I was sick of being ignored. I was sick of him pushing me away right now. He didn't take long to answer, his expression blank.
"Hi..." He whispered, his voice hoarse.
"Hey..." I breathed out, my anger slowly disappearing as I looked at his face. It was red, his cheeks tear stained. He was wearing a long sleeved sweater, which I guess wasn't that odd being since it was nearly January.
"Come on in." Niall moved out the way, opening the door completely as he allowed me in. The place looked like it had the last time I'd been here... It felt like forever...
"Why have you been ignoring me?" I asked the second he closed the door, he sighed a little as he leaned against it.
"I'm not ignoring you... I've been busy."
"With what? Ignoring me?"
"Will you stop assuming everything?"
"I don't know, will you stop avoiding me like I'm carrying the bloody plague?! How are we supposed to make this relationship work when you won't even pick up your goddamn phone every once in a while. I feel like I can't even talk to you anymore without it somehow leading to a fight. I hate fighting with you." I pulled at my hair a little, giving him a tired look as he just stared back at me. I wasn't quite sure how long we stared at each other before he gained the courage to speak again.
"Then why are you fighting with me now?" He whispered, his eyes still staring into mine.
"Because it's the only way you'll fucking listen." I hissed, my voice coming out a little harsher than I intended.
"Stop yelling at me!" He screamed before breaking a little, a fresh set of tears streaming down his face as he slumped down to the floor. He was still leaning against the door as he silently sobbed, and like the idiot I was I just stood there.
"I can't keep fighting with you, it's tearing me apart..." He whispered after a few minutes, finally looking at me again.
"And you think it's not doing the same to me?! I hate this, I hate that we can't even have a normal conversation anymore without one of us apologizing. Niall, this isn't healthy. I don't want to lose you, but I feel like if we don't... If we don't start talking to each other about things we're not going to last much longer." I took in a shaky breath, my chest clenching at the mere thought of letting Niall go again.
"I know, I fucking know okay? But I don't want you to see the monster I've been keeping in the closet."
"We've all got monsters, eventually we've gotta let them out."
"You'll hate me."
"I don't think I can ever hate you." I walked over to him, crouching down to his level so I could look him in the eyes. He only turned away from me, finding the objects to the left far more interesting I guess.
"They all do, so why wouldn't you?" He whispered, biting his lip a little.
"Because I'm not like everyone else, when are you going to finally realize that? I'm hopelessly in love with you Niall, and it's funny cause I don't know a single thing about your past. All I know is that you're not the most perfect human being out there, but goddammit who is? I know I'm not. I love you, and I promise you that I can never ever hate you... I couldn't even if I wanted to." He looked at me again, his blue eyes still flooded with unshed tears.
"I'm scared. I'm scared to tell you." His voice cracked a little, his eyes showing the fear that he was obviously talking about.
"I know... It's okay to be scared." I wiped away a few stray tears with the pad of my thumb, before kissing his cheek as I pulled him into my arms. We sat on the floor in front of his door as I waited for him to say something...
"You promise not to hate me?"
"I promise..." Niall bit his lip again before he rolled up his sweater sleeve, revealing what Alex was so keen on me seeing.
They were red.
Some were even still bleeding slightly...
My finger traced one almost absentmindedly, and when I pulled my hand back to see the blood on my fingers I couldn't help but pull him a little closer.
"Niall... Oh baby..." I whispered, biting my own lip as the sudden urge to cry came over me as well. I couldn't take my eyes off of them, the sudden want to take Niall far far away almost taking over. I just held him close though, my body shaking slightly as he sobbed in my arms.
"I'm sorry." He kept chanting, some of the words more broken than the others.
"It's gonna be okay." I kept whispering back, but I wasn't quite sure if I was telling the truth.
Sometimes though, the lies can be comforting.
So, Harry knows now.
I'm sorry that the humor is kind of dead at the moment, I promise it'll be back soon.
YOU ARE READING
Burning Up (n.h. + h.s.)(Sequel to Shiver)(Book Two)Fanfiction
-| just because you win the battle, doesn't mean you've won the war|- "You know... I was serious when I said I was going to marry you." "I know." "Then why don't we go get married right now? We can fly to Vegas... Drive thru wedding. I've heard th...