I'm brought back from my thoughts and find myself once again sitting in the cafe with Mike. He's staring at me. Teared formed in his eyes and I didn't know what to do.
"Why?" He asked as he slowly set his cup of coffee down.
Him and I never really had a thing. Now, he was openly showing me his emotions and I didn't like it. I'm trying to be good. I'm trying to be kind. I don't want to hurt him but I do. I want to cause him pain. 'Stop crying you weak fool.' I thought loudly and wondered if my anger could be read on my face.
"I need to go and give something back to my country," I said.
He challenged me. "That's not the truth is it?" I just stared at him.
I tried to read him but he had quickly become unreadable. He had put up walls right before my eyes. Amazing. Simply amazing.
"You knew I had been thinking about this for a long time. You knew that the reason I had even agreed to be with you was because of this. You knew this day would come." His eyes slid towards the ground. He wouldn't look at me now.
"Yeah...I knew. I just thought. I thought. I thought we had something." He lifted his eyes back up from the ground and pierced into my soul with his gaze.
Ah...games. I see. We can play them if you'd like.
"We do" I purred softly. "You are special to me" I spoke each syllable as though each word held a special promise.
I like games. We can play these games and I will make you feel like you are the sun and the moon.
Yes. Of course, we can play. He shook me from my thoughts.
"Well...you are more than special to me. I love you. I thought you loved me too." There was a flicker of something in his eyes just now.
What was that? Anger. It can't be. No. It can't be. What was it? I was searching his eyes for the answer as I stared into him.
"I do," I said simply. Liar. Could he see the lie on my face? I need to backtrack. He knows the truth.
"I care about you and I am glad that it was you. This time we have spent together has been amazing and I was thinking that I could come back to visit and we could...you know...spend time together. What do you say?" He stared at me.
Considering my generous offer.
"What makes you think I'll wait for you?" he replied.
Oh please, he thinks that I care. Play this cool. Don't give him too much but give him something. Let the poor guy have his dignity.
"You don't have to wait. If you are available when I call we can meet up and if you aren't, I would be happy for you. No strings. I'm not asking you to wait." I paused here.
This pause for effect. I knew I had him. I knew it for a fact. My victory was assured. He would wait. We would play this game but eventually, I'd tire of it. I'd find someone else and he would be forgotten but not today. Today, he would be mine. In a silent agreement we both rose from our seats, paid for our beverages and made our exit.
We left the cafe and found a dirty hotel nearby. It was my treat because my poor guy was a broke bitch.
When we entered the room I felt a comfort overtake me knowing that this would be one of the last times that he and I would get together like this. He pulled me close to him and he kissed my lips. He tasted like coffee and smelled like Newport's. I had grown to appreciate that scent.
I kissed him in return and felt my body temperature rising. Mike had started to get quite good at turning me on. Moisture pooled between my legs as he kissed me deeply and ran his hands down my back.
He squeezed my ass and it sent shivers down my spine. He pulled one of my legs up and rested my thigh against his side. I felt his erection from this angle and it made me groan with desire. The sound that escaped my lips compelled him to invade my space, even more, he turned me and pressed me against the door my leg still wrapped around his side.
"I'm going to make sure you don't forget me," He said breathlessly.
I had wished that I was wearing a dress but unfortunately I was in jeans that night. I wanted him to take me right there against the wall. His hands raked across the sides of my body and moved back up to caress my breasts.
"Please," I begged him.
I arched my back to grant him better access and he kissed my neck with a hunger he rarely showed. He pulled my sweater shirt off my body and exposed my bra. His eyes glazed with fire
"You are so beautiful" he said as he stared at me in awe.
I grabbed his face and held his head in between my hands while I stared at him
"So are you" I spoke in a husky tone.
My words filled with a promise of what awaited him. He smiled so deeply that I thought my heart would break. He kissed me with a hunger and pain that held its own promise. It sang in my head "I love you".
Could it be possible that he was telling me the truth? Could it be possible that somewhere along the way he had fallen for me?
I pushed those thoughts to the side. It couldn't be possible because men didn't feel. Men only took.
With that realization, a numbness fell over me and I found myself going through the motions but feeling nothing. His touch no longer ignited me. His kiss felt like nothing. I looked at him and I wondered if he saw that the fire had died from my eyes.
He searched my eyes. Looking for something and when he saw that nothing was there he slowed his motions but didn't say a word. He moved me to the bed and pulled off my pants and underwear.
No more kisses would he grant me. He inserted himself inside of me once he placed his condom on and finished quickly. With a swift motion, he put his clothing back on and waited for me to do the same.
We left the hotel in silence and he was the first to break the spell.
"I'll see you around?" He was smiling but he smile didn't reach his eyes.
I looked at him and I felt sad but I didn't know why.
"Of course. I promise"
"You promise heh?" his voice challenged me and for a brief moment his smile showed in his eyes.
In a flash it was gone again.
"I promise," I said. I meant it too. I would be in touch with him but things would never be the same.
Author's Note: I hope you don't think too poorly of our MC here. She has commitment issues. Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this chapter please vote for it.
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