I'm A Monster - Wolfstar

41

Mum asks us if we had a good time when we come back out. We had spent the last thirty minutes with a burger and a can of cola each. We tell her we did, as we don't want to say anything about the rollercoaster incident.
When we get back home there's nothing to do, so we go back out to the forest again.
I lie down in the grass, enjoying the hot weather. Sirius lies down next to me and puts his hand in mine.
"You seem sort of distant, Moony. Are you OK?", he asks me.
"Yeah"
"Those guys were idiots"
"Yeah"
He sits up. "Come on, I know you're hiding something. What is it?"
"It's the full moon in three days". I pause. "I'm scared"
"Hey, it's fine", he says, "I'm here. Well, it's not fine for you at all, but I'll try and make it somewhat bearable for you"
"I don't want to hurt you again"
"You won't. I'll stay out of the way, OK?"
I sigh sadly. "OK. You're not scared of me, are you?"
"Why would I be scared of you? You're my best friend, my boyfriend, at that"
"You're fearless, aren't you?"
"I've become more emotionally vulnerable around you nowadays". I remember that the last time I've seen him cry since today and the two times last month was in our first year, when he cried about missing his brother on the first night. But that's it.
"Yeah, I suppose. I didn't really know you could cry before then"
I meant it as a joke but he goes quiet.
"What's wrong?"
He sighs. "Nothing"
"It's something. I thought you were emotionally vulnerable with me now"
"I know, and I've come to see your angry, not-afraid-to-slap-a-bitch side. It's nothing, really"
"You sure?"
"Yeah"
I've noticed he doesn't like to talk about his feelings as much as I do, especially when that feeling is something that might come off as weak to some people.
"I wanna punch someone", he announces.
"Who?"
"I don't know"
"Punch me"
"No!"
"If it makes you feel better, I'm all for it. I can take it. You're telling me I'm weak?"
"No, I'm just refusing to punch you. I think I've done you enough damage already"
I hold his arm and when he stiffens it to try and pull away I punch myself with it. It stings a bit and my cheek goes numb for a moment, but I'm fine.
"Why would you do that?!", he screeches.
"Feel better?", I ask.
"Why would I?! I just punched you!"
"Technically I punched me"
"With my arm!"
"Quit your whining, you got what you wanted. If you tell me you want to punch someone, what do you expect?"
He sighs and looks up. I look up too, watching the clouds float along the pale blue sky and avoiding the penetrating gaze of the sun.
"How?", I ask him, sitting up against the tree trunk.
"How what?"
"How did you make the bar move?"
"Magic"
"You didn't have your wand though"
"I know. I can still make things happen without it"
"I can't"
"Well, I guess I'm lucky"