I head up to my room and stare at the ceiling. What was I thinking. Self harm is not the answer. I finally decide to make a youtube video.
Hiiiiiii.……. Jai here. So this video is gonna be a little bit different. I dont have my lights or my smile or my stand. Im not even editing this video. I think its time for you guys to know. I self harm. I have been cutting and taking pills for about a year now. Do you ever feel that your being used? (crying) And now im crying again. But dudes self harm is not the answer. Its not sexy. I just didnt know how to express my feelings or get my anger out so I let it out on myself. I know im always encouraging you guys to be yourself and how im always happy. But really sometimes I just have to tell myself no. Now what am I having an anxiety attack over? Well I had a girlfriend lets call her A because you guys know im all about that pll shit. Anyway A has been cheating on me for 2 months with my bully. And the reason it hurts so much is because I really loved her and didnt see it coming. This video is too long. Wrists are for bracelets not for cutting. Mouths are for pizza not for pills.
I cut my camera off and upload it to youtube. I title it as Self Harm. I tweet out
@JaiGilinsky: Check out my new youtube video. Hope you guys understand. :):
I turn all my things off and drift off to sleep.
The next morning I am woken up by my alarm. I roll out of bed and look at the time 8:00. I have school today but me and Juliana arent going because the boys leave today.
I throw on a outfit then walk over to my braclets. I put them on to cover my wrists. After 10 minutes I head downstairs. Everyone is in the van. I grab my phone then head into the van.
I slide the door closed and relax.
" Took you long enough pretty boy" hayes says smacking my cheek lightly
"haha" I say sarcasticly
The van pulls off and we head to the airport. After about 20 minutes we arrive. We head to the gate and say our goodbyes.
I run up to my dad and hug him.
" Ill see you in 1 month" dad says tearing up
" Im leaving my daughter with you for a month. Take good care of her" matt says
" I will protect her no matter what" I say
I run over to my dad again and give him a hug.
" Be careful. I love you son" he says
" I love you too dad" I say
I then look at hayes and he holds his arms out and screams.
"HUG ME YOU FOOL"
I run up to him and Jump into his arms. I wrap my legs around him and we stay exactlty like that for like 10 minutes.
" Daddy do you have to go? " juliana asks
" Yeah baby im sorry" I say as juliana starts crying I pick her up and hug her till they call the plane.
" Flight C36 now boarding"
" Jai is gonna take care of you ok? " I say
" Promise? " she asks holding out her pinky
" Promise" I say hooking my pinky on as a tear escapes from my eye.
The plane is called and I hop off of hayes. He looks at me with tears in his eyes.
" Dont forget me" he says
" How could I forget pooh bear? " I ask chuckling
" Dont call me that" he says trying to hold back a smile.
" I love you dude" I say hugging him again
" I love you too bro" he says.
We let go and they walk away. Juliana runs in my arms and I pick her up.
Time to get responsible.
YOU ARE READING
Jai Gilinsky is a 14 year old music prodigy. He is also the son of Jack gilinsky. No he wasnt adopted. His mom left his dad for another guy. Join Jai in his Wild Life.