Trying To Deal (Chapter 2.)

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Everyday when I get home I get a razor and cut myself. It hurts physically but it eases the pain of not having him emotionally. Everyday the cut is deeper in my wrist and in my heart. it's not like anyone cares about me anyways and it makes me feel better so everything is okay.

My mom and dad got divorced a few months ago. So everything was decided except where my sister and I go. My sister got the lucky end of the deal she gets to live with our mom in Nashville. I got the crap hole end of the deal I'm stuck living with our dad in Miami. Everything sucks now I'm at a new school with new people. He is still at my old school his name is Jeremy Walker by the way. He was the only one who truly understood me and now I lost him forever. I mean we occasionally text,email,video-chat, and talk on the phone but is that really enough?I'm not sure I feel like we will drift  apart if I don't see him soon. So I'm going on a mission.

        My mission is to go back to Nashville, Tennessee and be with him. I mean just seeing him would make my day, and take my breath away. Hugging or kissing him would be so great. I still remember how warm he was and how hypnotizing his smell was. If you ask me that's true love. he could make me smile or laugh even on my worst day.When we were together it seemed like all of my problems just seemed to drift away. Like we were the only two people on earth. i could tell him anything and he would understand and not tell anyone.

Not to mention we have so much in common. Like our favorite color is blue. our favorite movie is the 70's version of "The Excorist." We both love music and hanging out with our friends. I miss being with him and doing all of those things. I miss him in general with all of my heart. Now i just have to get away from my dad. I've got to sneak away out of this crap hole so I can get to him. He is going out with a girl named Madison Riley. She's Gothic and she can sing. She has dark green eyes and medium long dark brown hair. She's skinny and tall but not too tall. She wears solid black everyday and sometimes red,blue,or purple. She has red and black Vans,her hair is always down. She wears blue and green mixed eye shadow and black eye liner.

Jeremy can make her smile and laugh, I hate her so much I almost want her dead. If I get rid of her then Jeremy will want to be with me because she will be out of the picture.

I'm sneaking away from my dad's house tonight. My bags are packed and I have written a note saying:

 Dad I love you but I have to leave I will be back in a year. I must follow my heart I promise I'll be safe so don't worry about me. I'll see you when I get back and It has nothing to do with you and when you read this I'll already be gone. I'll see you in a year.



I'm afraid of what he said when he read it. I hope he doesn't try to find me. if he does I hope and pray he does not succeed.

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