Just please don't say you love me, 'Cause I might not say it back. Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that.
- Stiles' POV -
It was a scary thought, knowing that I was in fact dying as the minutes passed.
I have been in the hospital for a week now and I've forgotten what fresh air smells like, what its like to get a good nights sleep, what good food tastes like. Not to mention the fact that hospitals freaked me out.
I had spent a lot of time sitting in a cold chair when my Mum was in hospital, and it gave me time to think. I became aware of how unsettling the corridors felt. I always thought they'd be somewhat comforting, knowing that there are people there helping cure sickness, but there was always that thought in the back of my mind. Not all the people admitted into hospital get to leave alive.
Just like me. It was only a matter of time.
"What're you thinking about?" She asks. She had been sitting by my bed for the whole week, only leaving when she really had to, or when I made her go home to get some rest.
"Death." I admit.
She sighs and closes her eyes, "Christ, Stiles."
"There's no point denying it," I say and I take her hand in mine. "The more you deny, the more it hurts."
She looked at me with sad eyes but was quick to look away again, her gaze falling onto our hands that were resting on the edge of my bed. I squeeze her hand gently and she looks back up.
"Go home," I plead but she shakes her head. "Why?"
She just shakes her head again before resting her head on my bed, a yawn escaping her lips as she watched my thumb that caressed her knuckles.
I continued to watch her as her eyes became heavy and her eyelashes finally came to a stop upon her cheeks.
The past week has been hard, for her mostly, and as much as I hate to say it, I can feel us slipping. She doesn't say I love you anymore, which is understandable, but when I say it to her, she doesn't say it back.
I know she loves me, but it must be hard to say such words to someone who you could loose at any moment.
That's quite a controversial thing, actually. Because well, that's the whole point of love. You put your feelings on the line to someone who once was a complete stranger, then hope and pray that they'll put up with you for the rest of their life. If not, they leave and become that one stranger you passed in the street again. Or unless your in my situation, that is. Where your being dragged away without any input.
Before long, I felt my own eyes grow heavy and I slipped into into a deep sleep.
I jolted up from my sleep with a scream, waking her up almost instantly. Tears began to well in my eyes as I took deep breaths. I look around the dimly lit room, reminding me of where I was, this only making my breathing increase.
"Stiles what happened?" She asked, sitting up with wide eyes.
"Bad dream." I say between deep breaths.
She goes to say something but my rooms door opens and two nurses rush in, cutting her off. One of them makes their way over to me while the other stands by the door, eyes narrowing on her.
"What are you still doing here?" The nurses asks her. "Visiting hours are over."
"I-I must have fallen asleep." She explains, frantically looking between the nurse and myself.
"What happened to you, love?" The other nurse asks me, and I turn my head to the side to look at her playing around with one of the machines I was hooked up to.
"I just had a bad dream," I explain, my breathing finally slowing back down to a reasonable pace. "Sorry for worrying you."
The nurse nods and leaves my room, the other explaining the visiting hours two times before following the other, closing the door behind her. I let out a sigh before falling back onto my bed, taking her hand in mine again.
"What was your dream about?" She asks, laying her head back down onto my bed and looking up at me with curious eyes.
"I dreamt that you left my room, and suddenly I couldn't breath or move my body. I couldn't call for help," I look a deep breath before continuing. "I dreamt I died, and no one cared."