Mission Day 9: I'm A Mess

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"Sunhee," a voice whispered in my ears. "Lets get out of here together." it continued.

My head spinned. All I could remember was darkness surrounded me but a light shone infront of me as if it was grabbing my attention to follow it's way.

I couldn't resist. I followed it. No matter how dangerous it could be, I can't predict much. My heart forced my whole body to follow the light. I was completely out of words. My voice was too weak to be heard.

As I was nearing the light, a figure started to appear. It was blurry at first, but the closer I get the clearer it becomes. A man's back was all I see with brown hair. I reached out my hand to touch his shoulders. Before I could do it, he slowly turned his back.

My whole body shivered and turned weak. I did not breathe, I did not move, I did not blink. This couldn't be happening. My hands turned cold and it froze for about 2 seconds. My whole body stiffen.

It seems like the time had just stopped. Gravity paused. That electricuted feeling was the only thing I felt. The pain, the sadness, the butterflies, the happiness, to sum it up, the bittersweet moments.

Kim Jongin. Yes, the guy I've been talking about for the past months. Yes, the guy who has now become my step-brother. Yes, the guy who seems confused. Yes the guy who left me. Yes, the guy who I am falling for.

There was some kind of magnetic attraction between that didn't allow us to be attach just yet. We were just a meter away from each other under the bright light and surround us with pure darkness.

"I'll be here." was all he could say.


My eyes shot opened. My heart was pounding. A sweat drip down from my forehead. I sighed as I realised it was only a dream.

I was in the corner of the studio. I guessed I was too tired that I fell asleep for about an hour. My soul was weak to get up and dance. The pressure was on me. Fear was conquering and I had to avoid it. But how can you conquer fear? It's impossible.

From day till night I never left the studio. I ate lunch and dinner there. I had to prepare everything from morning so I wouldn't waste any single time.

It was already 8 at night. I have to get enough sleep since the performance is in less than 48 hours. I put on my over-sized sweater and headed back home.

Little did I know it was raining heavily outside. I stand infront of the main entrance thinking how can I get back home with this heavy rain. It was chilly ofcourse and windy.

The wind splat some rain on me. As minutes passed by, I was getting soaked and soaked even more. No cab came by, 2-3 cars only passed by. Furthermore, I was alone.

"I see you need an umbrella."

Taemin stood behind me holding an umbrella on top of me.

"Thanks." I hesitated.

"Poor thing your alone. You know you can have my umbrella." he suggested.

"Are you sure?" I query.

"Well, with one tiny condition." he proposed and continued "You have to bring me to your apartment."

I could just said no but thinking of my situation crisis now, I need an umbrella and someone to send me back home. But to bring this weirdo along, is not helping me with anything except the umbrella.

"Ugh, sure." I rolled my eyes. He smirked and we started to stroll together in the rain gawkily. We walked silently once again. I was thr most not interested to start up the conversation.

We arrived at my apartment. I didn't bother to welcome him and he himself didn't bother to feel like at home. He sat down on my couch and lay down straight with his hand on his head. What does he think his doing? Is this somekind of a hotel his paying for.

"What do you think you're doing?" I shot him a look. "Can I atleast get a credit for helping you to reach home safely?" he made a point. I calmed myself down by breathing in and out slowly. This guy is too much. I can't believe his Kai's cousin that makes me a part of his cousin in a way. Great.

I prepared my favourite passion tea in the kitchen as to pamper myself after 10 hours of practise for today. "I would like a chinese tea if you may." he shouted from the living room. My temper went high but do I have a choice?

"I dont have chinese tea." I shouted back sounding pretty mad. "I was kidding." he popped his head out from the door. All I could do was to roll my eyes and still furious.

We settled at the living room sipping our teas calmly in silent again. I huddled myself on the couch being comfortable as ever while gazing in my tea.

"Have Kai ever tasted this?" he suddenly broke the silence with a insubstantial question. First I looked at him dreary and unspoken. I couldnt answer so I ignored the question and gaze back in my tea.

"You seem hesitant. You really love him huh?" he asked. That was it. I loosed it. I had enough people asking me if I love him and blahblah. Whether I still care about him or not. I stomped my cup

on the table and blast my emotions out.

"Well yes! I do love him. If I didn't I would be with another guy. I wouldn't be doing this missions that Sehun suggested to find Kai. I wouldn't be fearing about his whereabouts by now. I wouldn't be confuse like how I am now. I wouldn't be dreaming of him every single day even by taking a simple 5 minutes nap. I wouldn't be meeting you. I wouldn't meet my bestfriend who loved me and had to let me go which was 10x painful to do so than what I was expecting. I wouldnt have met 11 boys who helped me and cheered me up. I wouldnt be shouting at you right now. I could've been sleeping soundly with Kai hugging me and whispering in my ears about how I will be great during my performance within less than 48 hours in bed. YES TAEMIN I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART."

To be frank, I was in mental breakdown as soon after that.

"Why is it so hard to believe he still loves me if I dont even know where he is?" I whimpered and was losing my mind. The pressure came in at this time and believe me I wouldn't want that to happen again.

Soon I realised I was already sobbing on Taemin's shoulder. I didnt know how that happened but it just did. I finally let go that emotion out of me. I never thought this could happen.

Taemin pat my head to calm me down and spoke "His fine. You dont really have to worry about him."

I looked up at him with swollen eyes. "So you know where he is?" I asked. He nodded.

Suddenly I got a phone call from Sehun. I didnt want to answer it at first but Taemin insisted too. I sniffed before I picked up as if not to sound like I was crying. "Hello?"

I heard a person panting fast "Sunhee?" it was not Sehun but the voice sounded familiar. "Sehun?" I reassured. "No its Luhan." he was still panting hard as if he was running with somekind of cause.

"Luhan wh-whats going on?" I started to panic. "Its Sehun...." something just feels not right.

"He collapsed."

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