Insecurity vs Hope

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I found it hard to breathe anyway, I don't need life to tell me this. I mean pain is something that nobody feels until they have hit rock hard on earth. Why do I exist? Everyone says God made me for a reason. Its true. God made me to die so that my loved ones would suffer and see what it feels like to shorten life. Some peoples life is more important than others. I can feel needles being pushed through my body. Why does mum even try, its going to happen. I looked over at my dear brother. His face was wrinkled in pain and his breaths were long and meaningful. He hugged mum pretending to be brave but I can see right through him. He glanced over at me. We had tought ourselves some signals. I bit my lip, asking if he was okay. He stopped looked at the floor then slowly glanced back into my eyes. Slowly he shook his head water filling his eyes. The chair had a drop of tears on its arm. This is the first time I saw him like this. I reached my hand out and he held it. The doctor tried to get me up for an examination. I stood up. I felt the cold tiles on the bottom of my feet before colapsing at the doctors feet. I was crying my head off feeling pain down my leg. Once again I was rushed to the bed and laid back down. I was given knockout gas and woke up not being able to feel my legs at all. I panicked but before I went into hyperventilating fase a grip was felt on my hand. I instantly calmed again. My Mum came in just after with red bordering her eyes and holding dads hand tightly. She told me what had happened. The cancer had spread through my whole body. I was to prepare for the worst.

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