Dear Tris,

It should've been me.

I remember you said once that no one would miss you if you died.

And I remember how I thought that was the most insane thing you've ever said. Everyone cared for you. Everyone loved you. I loved you.

No one loves me. No one cares for me. I should've been the one who died. I have nothing to live for. Nothing to love.

I should've stopped you from ever going into that room. I should've saved you. I should've died, Tris, not you.

Guilt flows through my veins and follows me around like a shadow, constantly reminding me of what I have done. I am overcome with guilt, and I can't think I can't eat I


Because every day my shadow of guilt reminds me of what I've done.

Christina says I have to forgive myself. She says that you would want me to do that. She says she would hate me if she saw what I was doing to myself.

I don't want you to hate me, Tris.

I'm sorry.



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