Chapter 20: Kat

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Tomorrow is auction day.

Most importantly, it is the day everything goes right or goes terribly, terribly wrong. Blake got confirmation two days ago that it would be him and Serigo on the job and that's all. That's all we needed though. Apparently, auctions weren't a common thing for Claudia and Ray to take part in and I was the first girl they planned to permanently sell ever. Lucky me.

Blake and I had gone over our plan enough times that I could recite the whole thing backwards by now, but I still didn't feel ready. We were attempting to con professional cons. If anything was even a hair out of place tomorrow, that was it.

But Blake promised me that he wouldn't let that happen. He had my back and even though I told him in plain words in my first week here that I didn't and would never...

I trusted him.

And I would miss him more than I cared to imagine. Thinking about never seeing him again made me breathless. We'd become actual friends despite our fucked up surroundings. We'd found each other in the dark and letting go would be a break felt throughout the world- Our world.

I wanted him to come with me and had asked him many times if he would, but we both know that he could never leave this life without severe consequences. As much as Blake hated his life here, it was the only one he knew and I think, though I would never say it to him, that he's scared of what else is out there.

That, or he doesn't believe he deserves any better than this life.

Blake reminded me of a lake. His beauty was obvious and lured people in. Though, underneath the surface, there lye an overwhelming darkness and mysteries tucked away in every pocket. Beneath was absolved of any light and impossible to swim through without the gnawing feeling that there was something watching, lurking and capable of sinking you down into the darkness with no way out.

He doesn't mean any harm and neither does a lake. They simply are what they are and unapologetically so. People are drawn to them despite their unknown dangers and I was a prime example of just that.

Currently, I was alone in his room, sitting on his bed counting the teeth in my mouth with my tongue. I'd read through over half of his bookcase by now and tried my hand at reading some of those poetry books he cherished so much. I managed to get through half of one before tossing in on the bed and falling flat on my back.

Either poetry was just convoluted as fuck or I was just hopeless to understanding it.

The black notebook sitting off to the side on his nightstand had been whispering my name all day but I tried to resist. He wrote in that notebook every night when he thought I'd fallen asleep. One part of me was itching to read it while the other, moral high ground side of my brain was beating the other part with a paddle for even considering invading his privacy to that degree as well as scolding it for enjoying the paddle so much.

Oh, who am I trying to kid here?

Squashing the better part of me back into a wall in the back of my mind, I reached out and grabbed the notebook. Pulling his notebook into myself, I ran the tips of my fingers over the pleather cover as if I could feel the words behind it. The black cover reminded me of Blake's eyes in the night or when he was angry or... pretty much any time that he wasn't smiling.

Only when he smiled did light break through his darkness into a glimmer of twilight.

On the first page, I found a poem about his mom. Unsurprisingly, I found a handful of poems about his mother, then many about his life here and about the world. They were all super fucking depressing and I began to wonder if anything in his life gave him joy.

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