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I can breathe

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I can breathe.

I can finally breathe.

So many years of feeling numb. So many years of this aching loneliness crushing my soul into pieces. So many years feeling my heart rot inside me, the blackest of spores creeping, infecting muscle, tissue, flesh, bone.

I was decay. Despair. Death.

Haunted by so many ghosts, memories dogging my every step, the weight of it all hanging heavy on my shoulders until I no longer knew how to hold up my head and face them all.

It's different now, of course. Everything is so different.

Warm. Beautiful. Alive.

Damn, I feel so fucking alive.

I can feel them both. Their lifeforce. Their energy. Like I have two extra heartbeats pumping in my chest and if I just keep trying, I know I'll be able to find them.

I'm going to find my way back to them. I just need to keep breathing.

Yes, breathe now.

Breathe, Helel.

Breathe. 

 

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