*༶тαѕтєѕ ѕσ ѕωєєт | h.ѕ ༶*

Bigger Than Me ♡

♡

Dear Diary,

I couldn't write to you last night because I was to busy being wined and dined by the pretty boy with long chocolate curls and perfectly round, plump lips.

Oh how his lips felt..

I'll get to that in a second though, right now I feel like I should explain what happened last night.

The night started out with me being a complete nervous wreck.. as usual. I hadn't slept, due to the butterflies in my stomach, little did I know that they would never measure up to the butterflies Harry gave me when the warm touch of his skin flirted with mine, not to mention my mind was flooded with thoughts of insecurity and self pity.

I made myself believe that I couldn't be good enough for a boy like Harry, or anyone for that matter. I don't know why I let fear set up shop in my brain, but I do.

Doesn't everyone?

The point is before Harry picked me up, Lola had called and made me feel kind of shitty. I mean it was everything I had already heard before, but when you hear it from your friend, well it's just a little bit shittier.

After that phone call, I was on the brink of just sending a message to Harry saying to forget about the date, it's probably a fat joke anyway.

Just like me.

But I didn't do that, I decided to stop being so damn scared, and fluff my curls and throw on some blush and I don't think I could have made a better decision.

Alright alright, i'm getting to the good parts now. You're probably thinking "Oh okay so nothing excited happened and your just really running your sad excuse of a night on as many pages of this diary as you can huh?"

But no.

Because what happened next was big. Bigger than me.

I opened the door to my apartment, and found a set of long curls and a boyish smile, holding a single rose, tapping his foot nervously as he looked up at me like I was everything he had ever wanted and more.

P.s I have proof. The rose will be inserted into the pages after i'm done writing!

Okay back to the story of Harry and I.

Are we a 'Harry and I?'

So at that point I was really nervous, we walked down to his car and he held my hand. Ugh ~ and it's so embarrassing, he could probably feel the clamminess of my palms in his, but he didn't say anything.

He drove just a few minutes down the road and we ended up at this beautiful, serene, space and he brought a basket, filled with wine and cheese and grapes and he brought a blanket for us to sit on.

His eyes looked so pretty under the thousands of stars that shined so bright last night.

We played a game and only got through two questions, yet a whole bottle of wine.

I can't remember anything that happened in between that. One second I was staring at the night sky, and taking sips out of my empty wine glass, and the next Harry's lips were on mine.

Me, Flora James had her very first kiss last night.

Me, Flora James had a lot of firsts last night..

I don't know if it was the wine, or the electricity of Harry's warm mouth all over mine that sparked me taking him back to my apartment.

Maybe I was just sick of being scared to take something I wanted.

The whole morning my mind has been going back in time to last night, flashing in milliseconds of the photographs of Harry and I's mouths teasing one anothers. My hands running along the ink stitched to his hot skin. The way his tongue washed over me like it had never tasted anything so sweet.

I would think I had just been dreaming if it wasn't for the soft purple bruises that are peeking through my pale skin and the tenderness of the spots when I run my fingers along them, reminding me that his lips were once a part of me.

And I could be dreaming thinking that he will stay and will love me just as I am, but what kind of coward would I be if I didn't just take a risk on the boy who made me feel like i was just like him.

Beautiful.

Shit ~ I have to go to work.. Harry is actually bringing me lunch I think..

I hope that was the juiciness you had been looking forward too for so many years that i've written in you diary..

love flora james xx

♡