The beer went down easy and it helped me to forget how much pain I should have been in. I forgot and found myself walking up to Green Eyes leaning over and checking me. I didn't hesitate to grab a hold of his neck and pull him down towards my face. I kissed him deeply. I didn't even know his name but I knew that he wasn't Tom. Tom wasn't here.
"Hey there," I said in a sultry voice that I think sounded sexy but may have sounded drunk instead.
I missed Tom but I could never tell him that. I missed the way his hands would feel when they would rake across my body. I missed the way his lips tasted and the way he would smile into my mouth as he kissed me. For the briefest of moments, I imagined Green Eyes was Tom.
I leaned into him to deepen the kiss. I allowed myself to be transported. Green Eyes didn't speak. He allowed a comfortable silence to fall between us. I was lost in this moment and forgot who I was with until we took a break for air. His face came into focus and I realized he wasn't Tom.
"You're not..." my voice trailed off. 'You're not Tom I thought to myself.' The cloud over my mind was fading away.
Tom wasn't here. Tom wasn't here and I wanted to go home. I pulled away from his embrace.
"I want to go home," I said turning towards Amanda. She looked at me, anger in her eyes.
"Well I don't," she said.
I felt anger begin to build in my belly. What had she meant when she said she didn't want to go home. Can you believe her? I didn't even want to come here and now I was trapped. I was powerless.
"I can't go home without you." I pleaded.
"Then stay," she said, her words were meant to soothe me but they didn't soothe me.
"It's already late. Too late. How late is it?" I turned to ask Green Eyes.
He looked at me and looked at his watch. "It's 2:30."
My eyes bulged out of my face. "2:30! I was supposed to be home by 10! My mother is going to kill me. I have to go home."
"You can't" she spat. "If you go home now she will kill you for sure. You are wasted. Why don't you sober up and then I will take you home."
I looked at her as though I was seeing her for the first time. "I'm going home," I said.
"Oh yeah? How are you going to get there? You have no money remember?" her words bore into me like she had sliced me with a knife.
I was seeing red. The anger was growing inside of me. My thoughts raced as I thought about the events of the evening. 'She had planned this. She had planned this trip to trap me here' Those words resounded in my mind. They beat against my chest until I felt like I would explode.
My body began to tremble as the rage settled in.
"I'll walk," I said and began to walk away. My legs did not want to work with me. They were bruised and battered and I was drunk. Each step sent a searing pain down my back. I would not allow myself to be trapped like some rat in a cage. No thank you.
With each step, I felt a shooting pain in the back of my head. I was falling and nothing was going to stop it from happening. Green Eyes caught me.
"You OK?" he asked as I tried to push him away. My strength failed me.
"I'm fine," I spat out the lie as though it was the truth. I'm such a fucking liar and right now I hate myself but most importantly I hate her. My friend since as long as I could remember.
I knew it would take me hours to get home. I wasn't going to make it like this. It was over. My life was over. It didn't matter though, I just needed to get home. No matter the cost, I would get myself home. I would deal with her later.
I started walking again.
"Don't go," Green Eyes said as he tried to get me to come back but I ignored him. He wasn't anything to me. He was some nameless face that helped me to forget about Tom for five minutes.
"No, thank you," I said waving my hand in the air in a simple gesture of goodbye. It was decided. I would walk and I would get home. Nothing else mattered.
I got two blocks before Amanda caught up with me and stopped me.
"Fine, stubborn ass. I'll take you home." She kissed her guy goodbye and waved to the rest and hailed us a cab. I rested my head on her shoulder during the ride. She was bringing me home.
Maybe it wouldn't be over. Maybe this situation could be salvaged. It was just after 3 when the cab pulled into our neighborhood. She had the driver stop in front of my building and I dragged myself out. I turned around waiting for her. She remained in the cab unmoving.
"Aren't you going to come with me?" I asked her.
"Hell no! Your parents scare the shit out of me, Cathy," she said.
"But...if you don't come, you can't explain why I am late." I searched her eyes. She was not getting out of that cab.
"I'm sorry" was all she said. The driver cussed at me to close the door and without thought, the door was closed and the cab drove away.
I stood there motionless for several minutes. What was I going to do? There was no way they wouldn't notice that I was drunk. Would they notice the wound? Would they notice the bruises on my body? I sucked in some air and quickly held my breath as I made my way to our 2nd-floor apartment.
I struggled to put the key into the lock. My head was swimming. My vision was blurred and in hindsight, I must have made so much noise because once I stepped through the door and closed it behind me, there she was. Face to face, her eyes just inches from my own.
"Do you know what time it is?" she spat.
I didn't speak but she smelled the beer on my breath.
"You've been drinking!" she screamed.
My father comes barreling out of the room and comes close enough to my face to smell my breath.
"You've been drinking?" the shock and disappointment in his voice resonated so deeply within me that I thought I would die.
"I let you go out to celebrate with your friend on her birthday and this is how you repay me? By drinking?" she asked with more of a statement in her tone than a question.
It was over. Her words cut into me like a knife through butter. My body flailed as my father dragged me into their bedroom. The night was about to get real.
Author's Note: With the edits this one went a little longer than usual but it was edited March 16, 2019. Of course, I am always open to suggestions on how to make improvements. An edit is just an edit until it isn't.
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