Chapter 34

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I walked through the institute

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I walked through the institute. Liz, Izzy, Alec and Jace went on a mission and Alec forbid me to go. I was too weak to catch up with them. I couldn't lie to Alec because he could sense anything that I did. So it just would be a big fat lie without any success. I was bored. I never knew I would say this but hunting was something that I loved to beside drawing. I walked to my room and picked up my sketch book. It has been months since I have touched it. I walked to the garden and sat down.

Besides that, it is almost Christmas, the flowers were still growing here and smelling like it was Spring and it made my heart flutter. I had always believed that Spring was the month of love and kindness. Animals would be born or reborn. Plants would grow and new life would be brought on earth. It was always the most magnificent feeling I had ever felt.

I sat down on a massive rock and started drawing the flowers I admired so much. They were blue with a bit of golden on it. It almost looked like the golden was glitter. I tried making the lines as flawless as possible. I did not realise how much I actually had missed drawing. The amount of stress that was released was indescribable. I should have never stopped doing this but since I have joined the shadow world it looks like my old life was just gone. It looked like it was never there... I missed it... I was not being chased by people who wanted to kill me...

"Clary?" I heard a woman call out of for me. I turned myself around and faced my mother. I smiled instantly when I saw her.  I hadn't seen her for so long. She went to Idris and I did not really have an idea why...

"Hey mum." I said and hugged her as she sat down next to me. She was scanning what I was drawing and from her facial expression, she looked shocked by my skills. Hopefully, in a good way. It was the first time she had seen my work so I did hope it made an good impression.

"I have to tell you something." My mother said and I felt my heart freeze. Whenever my mother said this something bad would come out of her mouth. She was known to hide a lot from us... I  did not knew how I should react but I put my sketchbook away and looked at her. I could tell that she was anxious about this.

"What is it mother?" I asked and gave her a reassuring smile - and hoped that it would calm her down. She sighed out and held my hand tight. She looked me in the eyes. I, myself started feeling anxious. I had no idea what she was going to tell me and she was making me wait which made the suspense grow between us even more - and it was not a pleasant feeling.

"I am pregnant." She said and looked at me to read on my face to see what I was thinking about this. Excitement overwhelmed me and I smiled at her. I gave her quickly a tight hug. I was happy about this. I was glad that my mother was telling me this instead of revealing a big secret. When I pulled out of the hug, she gave me a small smile. She wiped away her tears while chuckling softly.

"You don't understand how afraid I was to tell you this, little one." She said and I smiled. I was so excited to meet my little sibling. I was never a part of this family and I never really had an experience with them such as this - and it made my heart flutter knowing that I would be now a part of it. I wouldn't let my sibling go through the same thing that I or my brothers went through. I won't allow it.

"Mum?" I asked as she was about to stand up and go. She looked at me and her eyes were waiting for me to say something. I sighed and held her hand tight.

"Please, take care of this one... Love it unconditionally and don't let it be broken like me." I said and my voice of tone was low and soft. I sounded vulnerable and broken. I saw something flashing in front of my mother's eyes when I spoke out my words. Pain. It was pain and regret for neglecting me... For not being there for me when I needed.

"I won't and I am here now. I won't let you go out of my sight." She said and gave me a kiss on my forehead as she held my hands tightly. I gave her a small and broken smile. My mother and I did not start off good... I was closer to Jace than to our mother. I know she is trying to be there and she is making an effort which counts... Everything she had done before was with good intentions even though it did not work out like that.

"I need to tell Luke now that he is becoming again a father." She said and I looked at her with confusion on my face.

"Again?" I asked out of shock. Do I have another sibling that I am not aware of? She saw the confusion on my face and laughed softly.

"He considers himself as a father for you and Jace." My mother said and my heart fluttered. I knew when I ran out of the institute and got into problems. He was there for me and he fought to keep me safe. I owe him a lot.

"That's sweet." I said and I truly meant it. My mother was lucky to have someone like Luke in her life. She smiled and nodded.

"I will see you at dinner?" She half asked me and I nodded. She left the garden and I went back to drawing the flowers. The colours were now changed. The blue icy colour was faded away and a beautiful yellowish golden colour took over. It was beautiful. It looked like the flower was made of gold.

"Clary?" Someone asked and I jumped. I turned myself around and saw Alec standing.

"Sorry I did not mean to scare you." He said and I gave him a small smile. Alec did not seem like Alec. He would never sneak behind me. I frowned and looked at him.

"No its alright." I said and Alec smiled. He came closer and held me tightly. I again frowned and I tried moving him away. This was so not like Alec.

"Alec leave me!" I shouted as his grip tightened on my hips. I heard a growl and I looked up. His eyes were shining and tentacles came out of his mouth. This was not Alec. This was a demon. I pushed it quickly away and ran out of the garden. I had no weapons on me and I was still weak.

"You won't escape me. Agramon wants me to give you to him. Dead or alive. He did not care." The demon growled and I quickly hid in a room. I could hear the demon coming closer and closer - and my heart was beating repeatedly. I had never felt this much fear. Alec, Jace and Izzy were always there to protect me and now none of them was here.

"COME OUT!" The demon screamed and banged hard on the door I was hiding behind. My heart dropped and I covered my mouth with my hand in order to not scream. I quickly crawled away and heard him walking away from the door. I had to do something. I had to get out.

The parabatai link. How do I activate it? I don't have my stele with me. How could I let Alec sense that I was in danger? I looked around me and saw a vase. I took it and took a cloth that was laying on the table. I covered the vase in the cloth and slammed it against the floor so it would break without making too much noise.

This was going to hurt...

I took the broken piece and slid it down on my arm. I  gasped when I felt the pain. The blood was already flowing and I put the piece of glass a bit deeper so it would hurt more.  I grunted and held the cloth against my wound. I had to do this.

I just hoped Alec would sense it and know that something is wrong. I want him to know it because I don't know any other way to give him a signal. No one knows now where I am...

I hope Alec would find me...

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