What do you do when you're trapped? I didn't have any clear answers. I was placing all of my bets on him not being the type of person to take first and ask questions later. His kiss proved that there is potential there for him to be a taker.
Yet, I had to proceed with what I knew about him. I knew he liked me. I was going to have to revise that statement to say I knew he was obsessed with me because 'Like' probably wasn't the right word for a stalker.
"You took that kiss without my permission," I said, trying to portray a confidence I did not possess.
His eyes flickered something for just a brief moment. Anger. I needed to be more careful.
"You wanted me to kiss you," he said indignantly.
"What makes you think that?" I asked.
Playing with fire foolish girl.
"I saw the way you looked at me when you saw me standing here." Oh.My.God. No, he didn't.
"I was surprised."
"Good surprised, I hope." I looked at him and used his tempory surprise as a way to break out of his hold.
I lifted his arm off the rail and slide myself out of his grasp.
"Come on, don't be that way," he said, pulling me back into him by the waist.
I twirl. Keep it casual. Keep it cool. Play this right and you might get out of here.
"You are cold and I can keep you warm," he says softly into my ear.
"You are scaring me," I said deadpan.
I check his eyes. A flicker of something...something...surprise. I surprised him. This is good I can work with this. His body tenses.
"Scared, why are you scared of me?"
Here goes nothing... "Right now? I'm scared of you right now because it's the middle of the night and you are here and I should be home. We didn't plan a date. If we had...maybe, but, we didn't. I'm tired and you aren't letting me go home. In this moment, right now, you are scaring me."
He will either destroy me or let me go. I've played my hand. For better or for worse this is what I am left with. This moment. There is no one here to save me. He remains quiet for a time. His arm that is wrapped around my waist loosens.
"So, if I let you go tonight you will go on a date with me?" he asked me and it sounded so desperate and sad.
My instinct was to tear him down but at the same time I needed to get through this. I needed to get him to leave without hurting me.
"Maybe, I'm not opposed. Just not like this."
He grabs my face and holds it as he looks into my eyes. I wonder if he can see the fear that resides there. I wonder if he can smell my terror rolling off of me in waves. He brings his body close to mine again and he kisses me, deeply.
I wrap my hands around his back. This is what I need to do. I feel it in my blood. I will do what I need to do to get out of this. He kisses me for a long time. By the time he releases my lips, he is panting.
"You are amazing," he says while he stares into my eyes.
"But I don't want you to be afraid of me. I want you to want me. Why don't you go home and get some rest and I will come by and visit you tomorrow and we can decide about that date and how to take this relationship to the next level." He searches my eyes for the truth.
I hide the truth from him and feed him lies.
"Yes, that sounds good. Thank you." I flutter my eyelashes as I slowly look up at him.
He releases me and stands up fully. A wide smile spread across his face. He's happy. I collect myself and bolt down the stairs.
"See you tomorrow beautiful!" I turn towards him, place a smile on my face
"I'll see you tomorrow!" and I run.
I doubt he realizes I am running away from him. I run all the way home, several blocks, in the cold, in the dark, to get away from the smiling monster behind me. I keep running until my feet cross the threshold of my apartment and I bolt the door behind me. Heavy breathes, as I attempt to calm my heart.
To be so out of control left me hollow inside. It took me hours to fall asleep since each time I closed my eyes I saw his face. His happy, smiling face. He stole a kiss, what more would he steal if I let him? Everything. He would steal everything.
It was time to take some action. The next day I reported this to my manager and they banned him from the store. As a safety measure, they change my work schedule. The third shift was so amazing. Such a shame really but I'd rather be on the 1st shift and safe than on the 3rd and have to come face to face with him again.
I have a feeling if he and I were to meet again in a dark alley I wouldn't make it out of it unscathed. It didn't take long for me to realize I needed to not work there at all. He had found me. Time to move on, I heard JetBlue was hiring. Run away little Cathy, run away.
YOU ARE READING
When You Realize You've Become a Mean Girl...and What Comes Next (In Editing)Non-Fiction
It isn't every day that you find yourself waking up and realizing "Hey, I'm a mean girl." I could make sure people like you didn't make their way into our circle and I was very good at it. You wanted to sit with us? No thank you. You wanted to talk...