The Queen of Loregams (sympathywolf)

129 6 4

Reviewer: SympathyWolf

Author: KailinneKaze

Thanks for choosing me, it's quite an honour actually lol. I hope this helped you to progress and don't feel bad because editing and improving is always good :3


I personally think it's eye-catching, definitely something important for an author however it could be improved. It doesn't suit much for the storyline (currently or based on description) since it's about a girl with a pendant raised by lions. It would be suitable for the book to have some sort of relation to the plot [7/10]


Alright, the summary was incredible. Very clear and straightforward yet engages the reader with curiosity. I was intrigued by the words you used. Your creative ideas are great and the wording and arrangement of the sentences is really something to commend. If you want to improve it, perhaps putting a some sort of cliffhanger-like twist (eg. Rhetorical question). [9/10]

Chapter Review:

Sometimes the grammar kind of changes and the punctuation mistakes pop up by accident. Also, I found that your sentence should were quiet short. I suggest a better reading experience for the reader will be to use conjunction to join your sentences. Instead of repeatedly saying "said", you could search up some other saying verbs. Shorter paragraphs would make it less draining for the reader since long ones discourage the reader to continue reading, or to skip parts. [3/10]

Activity of the Writer:

You are usually active and comment in many books. You have a good relationship with your readers, answering questions in the comment section and gratefully saying your thank you's. [8/10]


Classic ideas, certainly very creative and enjoyable to read! If you want to hook your readers in, I suggest putting some more action such as the main character encountering mysterious people or venturing into some sort of unknown but with lots of climax. [7/10]

Overall Advise:

Work on your chapter review, munch down on using conjunctions to create more successful sentences. Shorten paragraphs (You can just seperate a long paragraph into two or three) and always double check/edit. Finally, improve your plot to have more climax, same goes for the summary.

Feel free to ask questions in the comments since some of my words are a little uncommon! I hope his review was helpful and my service was convenient ^-^

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