6. She Is Dead

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"Broken hearts break hearts

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"Broken hearts break hearts."


What was I going to say to the faces I used to know?

That was the first thing that hit me when I approached the open front doors to EverGreen High.
The second thing that hit me was the fact that I was back. I never thought I'd see this place again.

When I stepped inside the familiar school building and gazed at the familiar students who were busy talking and laughing, my heartbeat increased. Moreover, I could instantly notice something different about the place. It was something about the atmosphere and the tension between the students. It was unexplainable and...hollow. It lacked something.

However, I bet not a single soul between the walls of this big building had missed me.

As soon as their eyes froze on me, silence instantly fell in the huge hallway. Quiet gasps and whispers among the students crawled into my ears and some students even dropped their books of shock. I was certain that everyone knew I was back, because I was pretty much all over the news these days. However, I guess looking at the girl who once used to be EverGreen High's queen bee, return from the dead with their very own eyes was way more shocking than reading about me in articles on the internet.

I was no queen bee anymore. I was just a sexually abused girl who committed suicide by jumping off the school roof. And the worst and most shameful part was that I survived. I had no right to survive. I didn't deserve a life. I didn't deserve to live.

During that moment, the third thought hit me the hardest. Everyone knew. They knew what I had been through with John and they knew I wasn't the old Maya Greene anymore. It was weird. Three months, all these faces I knew so well used to look at me as if I was the perfect queen. Now, from the way they were looking at me, it seemed as if they were looking at a ghost or a stranger.

Eventually, I ignored the stares and the whispering as I walked through the hallway with dad. Everyone's eyes were traveling up and down my body. I had changed. A lot.

It was hard to recognize myself in the mirror ever since I was discharged from the hospital. I could tell each and every student was having a hard recognizing me too. Probably because I had gotten skinnier, wasn't wearing any of that heavy makeup I used to apply on my face, my hair was loosely braided and instead of several inches tall heels and short clothes, I was wearing simple warm boots, dark jeans and a light pink hoodie with a black coat.

Honestly, simple felt good.

Admittedly, I didn't really know how to handle all the stares and whispers. So when I spotted Mrs. Davidson, the school principal waiting for us by her office, relief consumed me. I used to walk through these hallways with pride and my head held high, but right now, I just wanted to disappear. I guess I wasn't ready. I couldn't do this. I couldn't face them. I couldn't do any of this.

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