August 28, 2016: The Day I Read a Ridiculously Long Email (Part 2)

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9 a.m.

I shouldn't have read that email. I said I wasn't going to. I promised myself I would get at least four hours of sleep to power me through the day.

Unfortunately I inherited the compulsive reading gene from Dad. If there are words in front of me, I must read them. And then I must turn them over in my mind for hours, composing a scathing response in my head that I know I'll never send. So now I have to power through the day on zero hours of sleep.

I bet Will did it on purpose. He knew today would be stressful for me, yet he sent that email before dawn, knowing it would upset me. I wounded his ego by rejecting him, so he's getting his revenge by making me as miserable as possible. He tried to play up his misfortunes for sympathy, and I bet it worked on you, Diary, but I can see right through him. Will is a vindictive and petty man, and I was right to turn him down.

The way he talked about Jane was just so...ugh! "A heartbreak of her own making"?! Just because she's not as demonstrative as other women, it's all her fault Charles thought she was using him? That is so unfair and backwards. If Jane were out to seduce Charles for his money, she would flirt with him brazenly and gush that he's the prince of her dreams. In fact, her shyness proves she isn't a gold-digger.

As for George, I'm sure if I were to think about it more, I could find the holes in Will's assumptions about him too. He's not the two-faced sociopath Will paints him to be. But I'm not going to think about it more, because frankly their problems aren't any of my business.

My business is to load up Dad's car with my things and get them over to my new place. But first, coffee. Lots of it.

***

12 p.m.

The bright side of being an utter failure as an adult is that I own very few things. Dad and I were able to move them all in a single car trip.

I wish I hadn't turned down Dad's offer to take me to lunch. I should have known that sitting here all alone, doing the boring manual labor of organizing my new room, would send my thoughts back to upsetting places.

Okay, so maybe Mom's behavior was a little over the top, and Jane shouldn't have gone along with her schemes. But resisting Mom when she gets a harebrained idea is nearly impossible, especially for a people-pleaser like Jane.

It's true that I didn't have a problem rebuffing Mom when she tried to force me to date Winston, but Jane isn't me. I've been mouthing off since I learned the word "no" at ten months of age. Jane has always been Mom's favorite, the dutiful eldest daughter. She didn't have any choice but to stay silent when Mom pushed her to flirt with Charles, and when Mom handed her that hot pink sports bra....

Alright, alright. So maybe Jane did have a choice. Maybe she's thirty years old, and she should have learned the word "no" by now. Maybe Charlotte did warn me that Jane needed to stop with the "just friends nonsense" and tell Charles how she felt about him. And maybe Jane should have learned from Tony in high school, and Brian in college, and Joel in her twenties that men can't read minds.

But still...still...even if the breakup was partially Jane's fault, it's not fair of Will to give her all the blame. He and Charles did their part by assuming the worst about her. Did Charles even ask Jane how she felt about him? Probably not. He probably cried all alone and took off for the airport without a word, like a heartbroken heroine in a nineties romcom.

And when Charles asked Will if he should give up on Jane, did Will even consider answering, "Why don't you sit down with Jane and talk it out?" No, he didn't. He decided on Jane's guilt and handed down her sentence without giving her a chance to raise a defense. If elected in November he'll make a great addition to the circuit court, with all the practice he's had judging people.

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