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my hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles turning the lightest shade of white possible. blood begging to boil, entire care rude being filled with silence. neither of us made a move to plug the aux cord in or turn up the radio.
"so are you just not going to talk to me?" he asks, the bright light from his phone dimmed. his cracking voice breaking the silence.
"why should i?" i make a right at the stop sign, hearing him sigh beside me.
"pull over." he states, letting out an uneven breath.
"no i'm ready to go home." i continue to drive down the highway.
"i don't care. pull over, we have to talk about this. not later, now." stern. the sorry excuses that he was probably about to say to me, i didn't want to hear. the one thing he promised me he'd never do, he'd done it.
the car slightly glides past the white lines of the highway, pulling us to the side. moving the car by wind as other cars sped by.
he grabs my hand, brushing his thumb against the individual knuckles. connecting his lips to the palm of my hand, trying to make up for everything. it wasn't working.
"look at me." he speaks, placing my hand back down on the arm rest. i intently refuse, looking out at the night sky. stars filling up the darkened world as we know it.
fingertips on the side of my cheek, his hand adjusting my head so that i would make eye contact with him. we're young, in love, and vulnerable. there was no other answer.
"i can't look at you right now." placing his forehead with mine, leaving no other option for me to not look him in the eye.
"but you are." he chuckles, when nothing happening was even remotely funny.
"stop laughing, none of this is funny." me, still having boiling blood. i push him off of me, when i'm angry i black out and so does he. he huffs, shoulder hitting the bottom of the window.
"i know it's not, i'm trying to be civil and talk about it. and you're being so damn stubborn." he shakes his head, running a hand through it as well.
"tell me why you were with madison jack! i'd really like to fucking know!" with his kind heart, he was trying to be rational. i was stepping all over him and he just let me. he sat there and took it because he knew that he was wrong and he'd mentally fucked me up. madison beer, jacks ex that apparently can't get the hell over him.
"calm down." his voice was soft, and gentle.
"how can i be calm jack?! then you didn't even bother to tell me that you were going to see her." i breathe. "i'm so fucking stupid, after you told me that you wouldn't talk to her." a tear falls down my cheek, unexpectedly.
"baby don't cry." he wipes the tear away with the pad of his thumb. "just talk to me and let me talk to you. i don't want it to be this way."
"it hurts because i feel like when you're with me that you still want her. and i'm jealous. i'm so fucking jealous of what you and her had. makes me insecure and think that i'm not good enough for you." sobbing mess by now and he's holding me. holding me like if i got out of this car that he'd never see me again. genuinely feeling terrible for what he'd done, i doubt madison is though.
"baby your everything i want. madison compares to you in no way shape or form. what madison and i had, is completely different from you and i." he kissed the very center of my forehead to reassure me.
"right here, this is something special. don't you ever let me hear say that you are jealous of her. madison and aren't together for the simple fact that she was always insecure about things in our relationship."
"i went to lunch with her, solely for closure. i only did it for her because there no point in closure if were already over. nothing happens and i promise on everything that i love." he sniffles, unless i slightly did overreact.
"and i love you. so much." he pulled away holding my face in his hands
"please don't be mad at me baby." taking him back and accepting him as he was the first time. anything i could've ever wanted.
