“Wow! I didn’t expect you to open the door for  me,” Brian huffs. 
“Good Morning Brian. I heard you’ll be very happy to have me back,” I laugh.

B

rian sighs, “You can’t believe how much. Some people… it doesn’t cost anything to just be polite,” Brian rolls his eyes. 

“I know… treat people with kindness and all that. Now tell me about the Belgian doctor.” I’ve never felt so nervous to hear if another doctor could help one of my patients before, but this patient is my girl. 
“I told him about Miss Jones’ situation and he said he looked at her files and he wanted to see her. I guessed you would want to go with Miss Jones so we put your calendars next to each other, but the first date that you both available is in three months time.” 
“Fuck three months,” I cursed.
“However, he said he’s on call next weekend. He wanted to make an effort and see Miss Jones next Saturday at ten in the morning.” 

A

relieved sigh slipped from my mouth. I would be forever grateful to this doctor for not making  us wait. 

“I planned to ask Katia to arrange everything but I was just so busy and it slipped my mind sorry.” I pat Brian’s back and smiled.
“It’s okay. You did a good job Brian. Now let's go upstairs. I saw it’s busy on the ward. We’ll look around, case by case but I want you to take as much on as possible”. Brian smiled proudly whilst we walked to the elevator.


Kate pov

I’m laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. My cheeks are wet, sweating from the rage I feel inside. How dare he come in and act like everything will be solved, when he of all people should know it isn’t that easy. I wipe my hand over my cheeks to remove my tears before I close my eyes and take a deep breath. My mind wanders to earlier this evening.

Harry came to my place that evening. He was on call but he said it was an easy day and his intern could manage. He told me a doctor in Belgium wanted to see me because he was sure he was able to help me. He would place a device inside my belly. That device would be filled with a drug cocktail that would be given directly to the nerve through a catheter. 
“Beautiful, imagine the things we can do when you have this device. We can travel together, go to museums, work out together…” he had said happily.
It isn't like I’m not happy that this doctor will see me, but Harry talks like everything is going to be solved and it isn’t that easy. He should know this considering he’s a doctor. This isn’t a cold that’s easy to fix. 
“Wowowow,” I told him, “don’t jump the gun. You don’t know if it will work like that and who says that I even want the device? You don’t know what the side effects are and maybe they’ll stop me from doing everything,” I tried to get him to listen to some some reasoning.

H

arry stopped smiling, “If you act like this then  it won’t work out,” he said, suddenly in a bad mood. Him acting like this made all of this anger bubble up inside of me. 

“You don’t know what it is to get disappointed over and over again. You don’t know how it feels to need to protect your feelings, not to expect too much. You don’t know how any of this feels.”

I think I can imagine quite well as a doctor and your boyfriend,” he had countered back. 
“You don’t know anything about how this feels, how lonely this feels because nobody understands you. You don’t know how it feels to have so much pain that you just want to kill yourself. You don’t know what it’s like to lose everybody around you because you’re not the same person you once were and you don’t know how it feels to hate your body! Until you know all of that, you don’t have the right to judge how I handle this!” I was slightly out of breath after my rant. I stepped back. Harry was looking at me with anger in his eyes. He would never understand, he was just like all the others. 
"You know where the door is." I had whispered. And Harry just turned around and left me, crying and alone in my living room.

A. N. : Hello
I hope you all had a wonderful weekend...
This wasn't exactly a happy chapter, I hope you liked it?
For me it was a very hard one to write because this is something what happens every time I will see a doctor.
My husband and family (especially my mom) gets over excited and will think this doctor will be the one who will cure me.
And I am more hesitant, we will wait and see what happens or often I just go to make my family happy but I don't believe something will come out of it. My family doesn't understand my attitude and gets annoyed.
It isn't easy...
Anyway I wish you the best week!
All the love,
K. x

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