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Rule Number Thirty- Seven: Always take the advice of a professional.

The beeping sound woke me, calling me back to where I needed to go. Opening my eyes I saw a table across from me with a card on it that said: "get well soon" and vases full of sunflowers.

At first, it didn't make any sense but then it all came back to me. I had fainted in my mother's entrance. My hand came up to feel the oxygen tube on my face.

And as soon as I did, I heard a voice.

"You're awake!" Tom spoke jumping from his chair to see me.

Grabbing me in his arms he hugged me, placing a kiss to my head.

"You scared the shit out of me".

"What happened?" I asked, knowing that I fainted but curious as to why.

"You fainted Ana, it has a lot to do with you hardly eating" Toms' eyes filled with concern and he grasped my face with both his hands.

Embarrassment flushed my face, and I couldn't handle having the elephant in the room truly being exposed. I wanted to turn away but the look in his eyes kept me where I was. I had to beg myself to stop being so selfish.

Before he could say anything else a nurse and my mother appeared.

My mother dropped her purse on the closest chair before heading over to me crying. She hugged me tighter than Tom did. I was scared she was never going to let go.

"I'm so sorry" she whimpered.

"It's okay mom" I spoke in confusion not sure what she was talking about. I eyed Tom from over her shoulder but he didn't offer any explanation.

"What type of mother doesn't realize their daughter is starving herself. You were always so beautiful Annie" she backed away to wipe away her tears.

I didn't do it completely because I didn't think I was pretty. It was because I was fat and no one thought I was good enough.

"Mom, it wasn't your fault. I promise, don't cry" my hand came to rub her arm and with a quick sniffle she calmed herself.

The nurse excused herself saying that she was going to grab the doctor.

I sat in silence, feeling dumbstruck as both Tom and my mother dried their eyes from crying, clearly still shaken up by what I had done. It made me feel horrible, I was a monster.

Something had to happen, a thought had to click because I couldn't continue to live like this. I was going to kill myself and not in the right way either.

I would die incredibly skinny, with pale skin and sparse hair. Everyone would feel sorry for me but they shouldn't.

I was a horrible wife. I'd consistently cheated on Tom with his brother. He dealt with my eating disorder and now dealt with the thought of me dying. Nobody deserved to be treated like that.

"I see you're awake" the doctor smiled as she entered the room. Everyone's attention grew to her, grateful that she arrived.

"Can I have a moment along with Ana?" She asked a second later with a kind smile. Both my mother and Tom agreed as they made their way out.

Once they had left she sat at the foot of my bed. The act was almost personal because of the way I was feeling. She was middle-aged her hair short, brushing her shoulders.

I imagined that she had kids that adored her and a husband that counted down the hours till he saw her. She was simple, no makeup adorning her face.

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