Part 1

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It was Monday morning and I did not want to go to school. I got out of bed dreading the names I would be called as I walked down the hall. I showered, dried my hair and lightly curled it. I then applied light makeup.

I don't have that many friends. Erin and Shawn are the only people that really talk to me in school. Shawn and I became friends in 8th grade, we're basically brother and sister. He always makes me smile.

I went downstairs grabbed an apple, said bye to my parents and started walking to school.

I walked into school and quickly walked to my locker hoping he wouldn't see me. He being Matthew Espinosa, my ex-best friend and bully. Matt and I used to be so close but once we got older Matt cared more about his ego and his popularity then me.

"Hey slut." Matt said as he walked past me shoving my books out of my hands.
Matt,Taylor, Nash and Carter all started laughing. Aaron, Cameron, Jack J and Jack G all gave me the "sorry" face.

Shawn saw and ran right over to help me up.

"They're such assholes! Are you okay?" Shawn asked

"Yeah, I guess." I said trying not to get upset

Shawn decided to walk me to all my classes that morning. Matt and his friends never bothered me if Shawn was with me.

*Skip to lunch*

Lunch was always hard for me. Shawn isn't in the same lunch period so I only had Erin. As I was walking down the hall I see Matt making out with Jill the school slut. I know Matt bullies me but I have feelings for him and I can't help it.
Seeing Matt and Jill made me want to burst into tears. I tried running past them but Jill put her foot out and tripped me. I fell right on my face, I got up and ran to the bathroom, locked myself in a stall and started to cry.

**Matt's POV**

The only reason I bullied Alyssa was because I like her. I only make out with other girls to try and make her jealous.
I never physically hurt her so when Jill tripped her I felt so bad. I really wanted to chase after her but I couldn't. I stared as she ran down the hallway

"Earth to Matt!" Jill said while waving her hand in front of my face

"Sorry" I said "I have to go."

I ran out of the building and just drove around for hours. I can't stand myself! Why do I do this to her?

**Alyssa's POV**

I finally came out of the stall to find Jill and her bitches in the bathroom

"Excuse me but ugly whores aren't allowed in this bathroom." Jill said
The other girls all laughed.

I ran out to see Erin, god was I glad to see her. She pulled me into a tight hug and then brought me to the nurse to clean my face being I got a bloody nose when Jill tripped me. The nurse decided to send me home. She could tell that something wasn't right.
I got home and ran to my room. I locked the door and slid down it sobbing uncontrollably. I felt my phone vibrate. I picked it up to see a text from Shawn.

(A-Alyssa, S-Shawn)

S- I heard what happened are you okay?

A-No I hate my life and I just can't take this shit anymore

S-Please stay strong for me, you know I wouldn't be able to handle this if something happened to you. I love you so much.

A-I'll try. I Love you too.

I pulled a box out from under my bed. It was filled with pictures of Matt and I when we were little. It also had a locket that Matt had given to me. I picked up the locket, held it so tight and started crying. God I miss him. Stop Alyssa what are you saying he makes you feel horrible about yourself.

I was a week clean. Shawn and Erin are the only people who know I self harm. I pulled out the blade and made two cuts on my wrist one for Matt and one for Jill. I walked into the bathroom and wiped off the blood then went to bed



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