Starship Armstrong - Season 2

Part 49 - Imperator Galactica (XI)

It was night on the little moon and the interior of the cavernous parlor was lit by simulated candlelight . 

McAfree was drunk. She had the wherewithal to realize that she was drunk, and that this was not desirable given the dangerous situation she was in. She was also drunk enough to disregard all that and keep drinking.

The Emperor was very drunk too, she noticed. She used this fact to rationalize that they would be at an equal disadvantage.

The two had been drinking and she had been humoring his asinine bullshit for a long time. It seemed to have been winning him over. He was so dismissive of her it was hard to tell though.

McAfree took a sip of wine. She decided it was time to make her move. She took another, more substantial sip.

She hopped her chair in closer, so that she could get all up in his personal space.

"I like you," she said.

"Naturally," replied the Emperor, bobbing and weaving in his chair "I am the Emperor of the Galaxy."

McAfree was careful not to roll her eyes. She batted her lashes instead.

"I don't mean as an Emperor," she clarified "I like you as a man," she leaned in closer "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"My dear your voice is a beautiful song in a language I do not speak," said the Emperor, his voice smelling of wine.

"What I'm trying to say," said McAfree, struggling to maintain the sweetness in her voice "Is that I have developed romantic feelings for you."

She took a drink of wine then, just to be safe, added:

"Not in the sense of the 18th century artistic movement but in the chivalric... reproductive sense."

Exasperation had finally wormed its way to the surface of McAfree's tone. It was like trying to wring blood from a stone just to get this idiot to acknowledge information in his own interest.

"Ah..." said the Emperor, apparently at a loss for words or else not paying attention.

"I would very much like to stay here. With you," she continued "On a permanent basis."

"Ha!" exclaimed the Emperor, visibly pleased "That is good to hear because those arrangements have already been made. You will not have to leave this moon for the rest of your life."

"Wonderful," McAfree lied. 

Not wanting to be too obvious, McAfree engaged the Emperor in more drunken chit-chat before she moved in for the kill.

"Now our future is set, my dear, can I ask you a favor?" she asked.

"Anything," replied the Emperor.

"Could you let my friends go?" asked McAfree.

"Of course I can," said the Emperor, with a dismissive wave "They are free to live here and have run of the palace grounds as long as they live. Once they vacate my ship, of course."

"Can't they just keep their ship?" asked McAfree.

"Out of the question," said the Emperor "That ship is Imperial property and will be a necessary tool in my glorious reconquest of the galaxy. It would simply not be in the interests of the human race for me to part with it. I could no more gift your friends that ship than I could cut out by own eye and hand it to them!"

The Emperor stood to deliver the last bit, but found himself unsteady on his feet. He quickly sat back down.

McAfree slammed her empty wine glass on the table a little too forcefully. The stem would have broken had it actually been made of glass. She risked massaging her temple with one hand.

Screw it, she decided.

"What if-" she began "What if I were to tell you that I am intensely sexually aroused by repulsors?"

The Emperor immediately lit up.

"Is that so?" he asked, grinning like a child "Because the palace complex has an incredibly sophisticated grounded tractor array. It could be used to create a repulsor effect; it's essentially the same technology. Perhaps you'd like to see it."

"I think I would like that very much," said McAfree, genuinely smiling.