The conflict in my life

Gone to set fire to something

I gave Evanna a piggy back to the train station, she was bounding about like a excited dog. I had really grown on Evanna. I liked her she seemed quiet but quite preserved and had a brilliant sense of humour. She was like my crazy little sister and I loved her to pieces. She was also really pretty and everyone liked her quiet dreamy personality.

I sat with Evanna and Tom on the platform waiting for the train as the others had wandered off to look at the board, we took the approach that we would just get on the train when it came in. They took everything more seriously than us.

"I love being on set" Evanna smiled at me and Tom

"It's quiet nice isn't it. It feels quite independent" answered Tom

"Yeah I love it! I can have as many weird and wonderful things were ever I want them. There is also so much freedom. None of the oh mum can I go into town tomorrow just go" she continued

"Yeah you can do your own thing. Just turn up to your take and leave. It's quite nice really" Tom added

"Oh well I am glad you all love it so much. I fucking hate it and want to go home" I said

"Really Bry. Do you not like it here?"Evanna asked looking genuinely shocked.

"Not particularly, I like my home and all my family" I spoked sadly, I could feel tears in my eyes. I felt so bad Aston obviously needed someone right now and I was here and he was 200 miles in the other direction. I just wanted to cry. He had been there for me through everything and the one time he needed someone I was prevented from helping as I was here. I felt so guilty about it.

"You will get used to it- it's only because you haven't done it properly except for when you were younger" Tom said softly

I could feel hot tears in my eyes now and I think Tom saw them to as he dragged me closer to him and gave me a hug.

"Are you okay Bry?" I heard someone ask, I think it was Rupert but I wasn't to sure.

"Yeah" I whispered quietly. I knew I couldn't get them involved in all my problems as that would be unfair I had to do it alone.

"Okay"Rupert whispered softly although clearly confused.

"When's the train coming"I asked

"11:56" I heard Rupert answer "we still have 20 minuets"

I stood up and found my lighter in my hoody pocket and stumbled off the platform, I heard Tom ask but I knew Devon had seen my lighter and I heard him say "well she's either gone to set fire to something or have a quick fag"

I sat on the floor outside the station. I felt so terrible why had I not been at home when this happened. My hand was shaking so much when I let the lighter touch my skin. A red patch appeared on my skin and I glanced at it shamefully before covering it up. I then took the lighter and lit my menthol cigarette. I gently inhaled the cool air. I wanted to cry with pain me and Mr Pryce had actually become really close- he had got me sponsorship from HV polo and he had given me jumping lessons. He was so young he was only 42. Could I not confiscate my life for his! He should live, I should die!

It was then my phone bleeped. I picked it up it was Aston replying to my essay.

Thanks baby girl. I had a chat with him and we are going to go get me a new show jacket for the world equestrian games. Were going to try and get Kid a matching saddlecloth. You were right sitting here thinking about it will only make it worse,I should enjoy this time.

It made me realise my own advice had been right. Mr Pryce wouldn't want me sat here crying and nor did Aston. I had to be strong for both of them, I could do strong for others it was myself I couldn't do it for. I went to the toilets and quickly tidied up my face before heading back out onto the platform.

I smiled at the group and sat back down next to Evanna although virtually as soon as I had sat I heard the train coming. I stood back up and pulled Evanna to her feet. We walked to were the train had stopped I followed Dan and the rest of the group down the train to wear two 4's and two were free. James,Tom ,Oliver and Rupert sat around one 4 and Emma, Bonnie,Matt and Dan took the other. Evanna squeezed in between Emma and Bonnie on the four so she didn't have to sit alone. I went to sit on the two with Devon but I then realised the seat was sopping wet.

"Hey me and Devon are goner find a seat wait for us on the platform" I smiled leading Devon off into a another carriage. The train was now moving so when we moved carriages we pretty much got flung everywhere which made the whole group laugh. I laughed as Devon tumbled out of the little bendy bit in the train and almost fell over. There was two free seats at the back so I went and sat down.

He sat down next to me when I saw a elderly woman come into the carriage. There was no free seat on the whole train someone had even sat in the sopping wet one me and Devon had left. I felt sorry for her so I stood up and offered me her seat which she gratefully accepted I was about to go and stand in the bit by he doors when she croaked "why don't you sit on your boyfriends lap?"

"He isn't my boyfriend. It's fine I will just stand" I smiled

"What was that dear?" She asked

""He isn't my boyfriend. It's fine I will just stand" I repeated

"Sorry I can't quite hear you " she yelled causing the whole carriage to stare.

I glanced at Devon before jumping over the woman to sit on his lap, I had given up trying to explain. The elderly woman then randomly put some head phones in and turned the volume up on her phone; which was a white iPhone.

Devon turned to me " Bry slide down my leg a bit Hun, your a bit high up"

"Oh god sorry Devon" I laughed sliding down so I was more on his legs

I was trying to acclimatise to being so close to Devon's face when he suddenly wrapped his arm around me. I froze. Even he looked a bit shocked.

"There was some fluff on you shoulder" he shuddered

"Right okay" I laughed

Me and Devon were friends but it was quite clear he wanted a lot more, he wasn't bad looking if I was single I would probably have a go but I was happily taken and he seamed to struggle to accept that which made our friendship quite difficult. I could see us being close if he learnt to control himself. He was such a lovely boy.

We had a long chat on the train and played matchmaker. We decided on Tom and Jade, it had to be they both liked each other and had been talking a little bit. Evanna and Rupert would make quite a cute pair, Dan and props girl Maisy. She was a short girl with jet black hair and pale Skin. They got on like a house on fire. Oliver had liked Maya for quite a while she was. Hufflepuff extra and the pair had got talking as he had to disarm her in DA scene they spoke more and more and I could see them soon becoming a item. We decided on Emma and Mark. They hated each other but really they just couldn't except that they loved each other. Bonnie and James would be cute but we knew it wouldn't last. Matt and Elisa's sidekick Emily would have been sweet but they never saw much of each other. Devon said he was apparently talking to Henryette a French girl who was a slytherin extra but I believed that like I believed Devon didn't fancy me. We chose me and Aston obviously.

As the train stopped me and Devon didn't realise we were at the station we were meant to get off at ,when I heard someone scream from outside the train "get off" I saw it was Emma and quickly stepped of the train falling over the old ladies bag. Matt was stood annoyed by the door. He had been holding the door opening button so the train couldn't drive off.

" Were you sat on each other's lap? " asked Bonnie

Devon quickly explained the story of the old lady and they said I was very sweet to give up to a mad old lady with a iPhone who had her music up so loud and spent most of the journey dancing.