Absolution and Fragility

XIV

How dare you say I'm not like most girls when the girls you compare me to are the friends I have looked to for solace when hell has come pounding on my door to take more.

                  

Her days were blurring together again. Everything was becoming routine. Wake up, train, eat, get ready, read, talk with Theo, garden time, dinner alone. Routine. Lexi was never one for routines like this. She liked certain routines that involved her independence, but that didn't look like it was coming around any time soon.

Things had also gone back to normal with her time spent in Theo's office. Neither of them mentioned anything that had happened, but she was regarding him with different eyes now. Her chat with Calvin had been enlightening, yet darkened her view on herself.

She took her confusion out on a punching bag. Her confusion always became anger because she didn't like not knowing things or not understanding them. With every crank of the bag, she refused to admit fault in anything between her and Theo.

Just thinking his name made her smash her fist into the bag. It swung but never came back. The bag had been caught in strong, tattooed arms. Immediately, she rolled her eyes and stepped away. One hand began to unwrap the other as she walked over to the water gallon she had sitting off to the side.

"You're not done," his voice trailed behind her.

"It feels like I am, so I guess I am then," she responded childishly.

A massive hand clamped on her shoulder and spun her around to face him. Sweat glistened over his chest and on his forehead. It was a view anyone could enjoy, but she wanted nothing more than to be away from him right this very minute.

"We don't have forever until Montreal. You need to work more on combat, especially if you get too close to Knighting," he countered.

Lexi knew deep down that he was right, and she had already thought about this. Hand to hand hadn't been her strongest suit, but she could do it if she needed to. She was smaller than many others and fierce with her size. Her father had taught her how to be cruel at her size – something she wished she wouldn't have had to learn.

"And, you will be close to Knighting." A promise more than a threat. His eyes swore what his body was rejecting.

"Fine," she began, "but I refuse to spar with the weak."

Lexi felt something bubble in her stomach as she thought about her last encounter. Not a day goes by that he doesn't pull up in her memories. She wanted to mourn the loss of a fight he wanted so badly to win, but she knew she was the rightful placeholder of her winnings.

A twisted grin pulled his blush lips up as a sinister look covered his face. His touch today would not be similar to what it had been in his office the other day. This would be unkind. He would be unkind.

"I would not expect you to. You'll be training with me."

There was a distance she wanted to put between them metaphorically, but it seemed as though every step she took back he took two forward. This was not what she was picturing, but it was apparently what she would receive.

*

Everyone had left except for the two of them. They have been here much longer than she was anticipating. Her hunger was pulling her focus off the man that was more lithe than she had expected. Lexi tried to shake that off to focus on him, but she was also becoming tired of being thrown off him whenever she got close. 

She dove in the open spot to sink an elbow in him, but he maneuvered just right to place her not-so gently on her back on the mats. A grunt left her lips. The fiery anger was building as she tried to sit up. His actions were doing more than pissing her off. She felt humiliated, and it had been so long since she had felt humiliation from an opponent.