Chapter Four (N.H.)

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Chapter Four 

If I lose myself tonight

It'll by your side. 

"So he left? Just like that?" Alex asked on the other line, earning a sigh from me. I had just finished explaining the fight with Harry to him, and that was all he had to say.

"Well he had to... He's got his classes up in London and all." 

"Did he at least apologize?" 

"For what? It wasn't his fault." 

"Well in my opinion he was kind of a dick." 

"It wasn't even really all that much of an argument Al." I shrugged, knowing he couldn't see me though. I walked into my kitchen looking out the window at the empty house next to mine. 

"Well he still sounds like a dick." 

"That's all Harry sounds like to you." 

"Well he punched me." 

"I know, I was there." 

"I can be bitter." 

"Or you can be mature?" 

"Nah, I prefer it this way." There was a hint of humor in his voice, to which I just shook my head to. 

"Have you told him yet?" Alex asked after a minute.


"Are you going to?" 

"Probably not." 

"You should tell him." 

"Yeah? There's a lot of things I should do." I adjusted the phone, letting out a sigh as Alex fell silent again. 

"You're gonna lose him." 

"No I won't." I whispered, shaking my head a little. Almost subconsciously, my eyes looked down at the red scars on my wrist... It was hard hiding them with him around... In fact I was amazed he hadn't found them yet. 

"Promise me you'll tell him?" 

"Why are you suddenly on his side?" 

"Because I know how you are. You need him to keep an eye on you." 

"I don't need anything." 

"Yes you do. Or do you want him to walk in on you like I did? Do you really want him to see you like that Niall?" 

"Fuck off Alex, I really don't need to the talk." Before he got the chance to answer, I hung up on him. I let out a small scream of frustration, glaring at the house across the fence. 

"He doesn't know anything." I mumbled, my fingers tracing the marks. There was a knock at the door before I really got the chance to ruin my skin further. It didn't take me long to open to reveal someone I hadn't seen in nearly two years. 


"Hey Ni..." She whispered, giving me a sad smile. She was holding a small boy in her arms, his eyes closed as if he were sleeping. 

"Come in..." I moved out the way, my eyes watching the two of them as she walked into my front room. I shut the door behind me, leaning against it as she just stared at me. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not caring if I was being blunt or whatever.

"I... I need your help." Her voice was still as quiet as I remembered, really she hadn't changed much since the last time I'd seen her. Well... besides the sleeping boy in her arms. 

"What have you gotten yourself into this time? Beth, I swear to god if you're still with that Jimmy kid I want you to get the fuck out of my house." 

"I left Jimmy... and that's why I need your help." My eyes drifted to the little boy in her arms again. 

"What can I do?" 

"I need you to take care of Blake for me... Just for a little while. Jimmy... He's gone crazy and he's following me everywhere I go right now. I'm scared he'll hurt Blake next, so I need you take him. Just... Jimmy doesn't know where you live, so you're my only option. Please Niall... I know I've done a lot of wrong where you were concerned, but you're all I got." She adjusted Blake, who gave a noise of protest. 

"How old is he?" 

"He'll be two in about a month." She smiled lovingly at him, kissing his forehead before looking back at me. 

"I'll do it, just... Be careful? I know how he is, and I don't want you to keep getting hurt by him." 

"I know... Thank you Niall... I know that we both said some things that weren't the best last time we spoke... Thank you." 

"It's not a problem, he looks a lot like you." 

"He takes after his daddy a little..." She gave me  small smile, before passing over the little boy to me. 

"Yeah... I guess you could say that." 

"I still see you kept the picture." She gestured to the photo on the mantle, the one she sent me right after Blake was born. 

"Course I did." I returned her smile as I held Blake closer. 

"He's grown a lot.." 

"Babies tend to do that when you're not around." 

"Why'd you finally leave Jimmy?" 

"Realized you were right... He wasn't good for me, nor was he good for Blake. I figured he'd change eventually, realize that what he was doing was wrong and such... I guess some people never change." 

"How long are you staying?" 

"Not long, a few days at most. Jimmy's following us, so the sooner I leave the better." I nodded, adjusting Blake a little as he finally opened his eyes. 


"Hello there baby... This is uncle Niall, you probably don't remember him cause you were really little when he left. He's gonna watch after you for a little while." She smiled at Blake and he turned to look at me with wide blue eyes. 

"Hi Blake." I whispered, my throat growing a little tighter. It had been so long since I had had him so close... and it felt like my heart was breaking all over again. 

I didn't want to make the same mistakes again. 


I don't have anything to say today.

Whooptiy doo.






Connie xx 

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