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The ultimate sacrifice.


It's something I think about time and again, whenever I find out that someone, on Wattpad, in the news, did just that. I'll admit though, I don't think as much about 'real' people, it's nobody I've ever known, fortunately, so it's never felt as 'real'. But then on Wattpad, you see messages they posted once, a little piece of their daily lives, and it hits me. This was someone who was just like you and me.

It's like a 'you-had-to-be-there' thing, if you ask me. On an intellectual level, you know the situation, what happened, and what could possibly be deemed as funny, but it doesn't make you laugh. Similarly. On an intellectual level, you get that this was a person who was just like me, who had a life, but then something happened and he/she chose to end it. But until you know them, somehow, or see a part of the life they had, it doesn't feel very realistic. It doesn't feel like it's really someone who ended their life.

But when you truly realize what's happened, it's a horrible feeling. I personally try to wonder what happened, how things could have gone so wrong, where they are now, and if they're in a better place, but I can't wrap my head around it.

And then this thought, this quote I read in a Chicken Soup book comes to mind:

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I like to believe it's true. I'm not going to pretend and say that I know of all the crap that happens to people; I don't, but I've seen homeless street children happily laughing and playing on the streets. Which again, isn't something I put up and try to present as 'oh, if they're happy, there's nothing worse' - but the point is, I know how horrible life can be. And this isn't theoretically, either - I really do. I've had my own problems too, admittedly not as 'big' as some others have, but it's gotten me upset enough to wish a lot of things.

Not suicide though - I haven't dared to.

And I know that people say suicide is cowardly, but I think it's pretty brave. To go there, and put an end to your very existence before time, it's brave. I have no idea what would be going through their minds - probably the reasons why they don't want to be around anymore - but I can't imagine it. Whenever I try to, the only thing I do think about is how things change, and how there's a whole life lying ahead of me, with new things to do and experience and...I don't want to miss out.

I'm wandering from the point I wanted to make though.

What I wanted to say was: don't do it.

You might think you have nobody in this world, and however unlikely that is, even if it is true, you do have yourself. Think about the things that you're yet to do- maybe kiss someone, write a book, experience college life, star in a movie - the possibilities are endless. There's still something you can do when you're around and alive, so why leave so soon?

What's happened, has happened, and however horrible it has been, it's over.

It's faith I have. Which brings me to another semi-related thing I feel- don't believe in God if you don't want to, but do believe in something. It's that faith that gives you strength - or at least, me. See, whenever someting 'bad' happens, or when I'm upset over some stuff I won't get into, it helps somewhat to know that it won't last forever. Long enough, sure, but not forever. And even though it does nothing to fix the situation at hand, it helps.

And then I get to the realization that if it's not going to last, there's no point crying over it.

I'm not going to try and compare situations, talk about people who made it through, because everyone's different, and the comparison would be invalid anyway. The thing is though, it's possible. Others have done it from their worst, so yeah, it's possible, and there is a chance for you.

Reminds me of another quote/thought, that has something along the lines of the fact that the best foundation you can ever have is rock-bottom.

I probably have no right to talk, seeing as to how I've confessed to never being in a place where suicide seemed like a good idea, but this is my opinion. If someone's passed on, or something along those lines, think about whether or not they'd want you to end your life. I doubt it, but just to confirm, reverse roles and see if you'd have wanted them to commit suicide after you died. If you'd want them to give up on hopes and dreams they had when they were happier, just because your life is over. It sounds like emotional blackmail the way I'm putting it down, but again, it's just my perspective. So what if I didn't get to do this and that? I don't see that as any reason why someone else shouldn't either. I'd actually want them to stick around and live a life for me too, but also be happy.

And if you think there's no hope - there is. There's always hope - that's the whole belief thing I was talking about. Believe it - it's there.

If you don't, well, don't give up!

I promise you, it's there.

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