In the 8th grade, things got complicated. Too complicated.
Big oaf, was too attracted to me to see things clearly. He convinced Mr. Beautiful to be open to the possibility of trading places. What does that mean you wonder? It means that Big Oaf would date me and Mr. Beautiful would date Amanda.
By this time, Amanda had been on again off again with both neighborhood guy (who she was in love with) and Big Oaf (who helped her pass the time). I hated the idea when it was presented to me. Amanda glowed at the possibility of dating Mr. Beautiful. Could I blame her?
I was against it and everyone knew that. They looked to him. Mr. Beautiful was disinterested in these games but with a heavy sigh he said:
"Whatever she wants".
I saw the look of resignation in his eyes. He would do whatever I wanted. Big Oaf's eyes glowed. I hadn't realized at the time how desperate he was to have me. Of course, it wasn't really me that he was after, it was the status. It was the "idea" of me.
If he could just be with me, he would solidify himself as the big dog on campus. It didn't matter that he had to take down his friend to wear that crown. If Mr. Beautiful had to fall so he would rise...so be it. Down his must go.
Mr. Beautiful would have to fall so Big Oaf could be elevated. Such is life.
It seems, that even when you have risen there is always someone standing by the sidelines waiting to watch you fall. To them, you have taken a place you didn't deserve. The glory that comes from being the center of attention isn't as easy as glamorous as it seems but you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
In the end, I hadn't seen it coming. I was too blinded by my own thoughts. Mr. Beautiful and I were a power couple, nothing could topple us. That's what I thought. He and I were untouchable. It turns out, that even the mighty can fall and when they do, everything in the way gets burned to cinders.
The decision for what came next wasn't even my own. Big Oaf took it. I was blinded by my own desires to see the truth of it. I hadn't seen it coming. Damn me for being so naïve. I was foolish.
Big Oaf cornered me in the halls with Mr. Beautiful by his side and he told him while looking at me "I'm so glad you agreed to trade bro." With that, he grabbed me in his big ugly arms and kissed me hard.
I was stunned. His tongue slithered into my mouth, the moisture filled me and the taste of cigarettes and pizza filled me. It was disgusting. I tried to push him away. My body pulled back as my arms reached up to press against his chest. His brute strength was too much for me.
He simply pushed me further up against the wall so casually you would have thought it was by design. With one hand he pressed it against the wall and with the other, he held both of my hands to his chest. From an outsider perspective, it might have appeared to be an intimate moment.
To me, it was anything but. The feel of his body against mine repulsed me. The knowledge and awareness of the fact that the person that I cared about was standing there watching this happening broke my heart. What must he be thinking?
This monstrously stupid beast was taking from me and I was powerless to stop him. Anger filled deep in my belly because I knew that Mr. Beautiful was right there watching his friend make out with me. 'I could bite him?' I thought briefly.
I could rip out his tongue that would teach him a lesson. As I thought about it some more, I knew that I would lose that battle. He would find a way to turn it around and make it seem as though it was a game we played and that I had simply taken it too far. No, I knew it the moment I saw him staring at me with lust in his eyes...he had won.
I pulled my head back as far as it would go, I wasn't going to make this easy for him even if he had won. He needed to know that I would never willingly choose him. His excitement at my rejection heightened and his tongue went deeper down my throat and he leaned in closer to remove the distance I had created.
A threat, I knew it immediately. He was threatening me with his mouth. He wanted me to know that this meant far more to him than I had even realized. He would have his throne. His friend would take a tumble today. He had decided.
My body tensed as the realization swelled in my mind. Mr. Beautiful would fall. Hands clenched from between his hands I bit back the tears that threatened to fall. I had to be strong, I couldn't show weakness.
I hated this feeling of powerless. If Mr. Beautiful was going to lose his throne the least I could do was find a way to let him keep his dignity. My mind was racing, I needed to break free from this terrible person. He needed to understand that I would not be his trophy.
He would never have my heart. Stupid girl, he didn't NEED my heart. He only needed my body and my body he would have. Unfortunately, Amanda had seen the whole thing. From where she stood, I was a willing participant. Her face lit up with joy.
"So, you decided to date him after all" she said with a smirk and laced her arm through Mr. Beautiful. "I guess we can date too" she beamed.
"Yeah, I guess..." he replied, his voice trailing off.
There was a sadness in his tone, a sadness that mirrored my own. She saved him though, she saved his dignity so I secretly thanked her while I felt a glimmer of something else. Jealousy. She had her arms wrapped around his and her body pressed against his side.
The side that belonged to me. Mine. 'Get a grip Catherine' I scolded myself. Big Oaf released me from the kiss of death and I leaned against the wall fighting my instinct to punch him in his smug face. I stole a glance at Mr. Beautiful. His eyes downcast. There was something else there.
I knew that emotion well. He felt betrayed. With Mr. Beautiful's acceptance of the new "arrangement", Big Oaf had won his crown. His eyes twinkled with this new-found victory.
Today, he had gotten everything that he felt he deserved. He would have his trophy. This male person that I loathed with more passion than any other emotion I had ever felt, placed his big arm across my shoulder and said with all of the confidence in the world, "That was a great kiss. Come on girl, let's get some food."
Just like that, my relationship with Mr. Beautiful was over.
Author's note: Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this chapter please like it. Thank you for reading. Edits made on 12/31 let me know what you think. If you enjoyed it please vote it up. Thanks again for Reading!
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